Videogum

Someone You Don’t Care About Still Trying Desperately To Stay On A Show You Don’t Watch

This week’s Paradise Hotel 2 brought a surprising blast from the past when Paradise Hotel 1 contestant Zach returned to “paradise”:

Oh man, I remember Zach so well as, I’m sure, do the other four people who watched the original season. And I have so many questions about what’s happened to him in the interim.

  1. What happened to all your headband?
  2. What happened to your earrings?

That’s it. Just those two questions. I’m pretty sure I can piece together the rest of the story. After he left season one, he has been working night and day to get a 100th chance at winning this thing. He also spent some time in a concentration camp to work on his cheekbones and went on a spirit quest where he learned about his vagina. I bet his parents would be so proud if they hadn’t killed themselves out of embarrassment.

Also, is it just me (answer: yes, no one else is watching) or did the flashbacks to season one point out just how toothless and uninteresting the current cast is. They’re so stupid and boring, and that coming from a show I only started watching because of how stupid and boring it was.