Wizard Rockumenatries: Spinal Tap For Babies

Well, nerds, you have done it again. Your plan to take over the world through silly costume parties, esteem-annihilating obsessions, and the public flaunting of social insecurities via conventions and forest-based role play will, if nothing else, destroy the documentary industry.

I’m pretty sure I’ve turned down the opportunity to see Harry and the Potters play for five dollars at shitty bars about a million times. Someone found that fitting documentary material? Whoops, I guess I’m (still not) the idiot. Also, just as a side note, has anyone even begun to plan for the aging of baby Potter fans? When they discover that magic is not real, Ambassador To Dragonland is not a profession, and jelly beans are supposed to taste good, it’s going to make the collapse of Social Security look like a game of Quidditch. Seriously, though, it’s going to be post-fall-of-Saddam-lack-of-planning-in-Iraq style chaos, if post-fall-of-Saddam-lack-of-planning-in-Iraq style chaos spent its summers at math camp.