Straight To Video

The 5 Best Videos Of The Week

This column didn’t run last week, since it was the 4th Of July weekend and everyone was off. As a result, this week’s edition is absolutely killer — so killer, in fact, that a Rosalía video almost didn’t make it onto the list. (She still made it, though. It’s OK. You can breathe.) This week’s picks are below.

5. Rosalía – “Fucking Money Man” (Dir. Bàrbara Farré)

The first-half game-show parody stuff is fun. But Rosalía videos aren’t usually fun. Rosalía videos are usually fucking incredible — sort of like the second-half vision of Rosalía singing in the ring of fire.

4. Schoolboy Q – “Dangerous” (Feat. Kid Cudi) (Dir. Alexandre Moors)

You can tell, from the opening frames, that this is going to be beautiful and also bracingly fucked up. You are not disappointed on either score.

3. Post Malone – “Goodbyes” (Feat. Young Thug) (Dir. Colin Tilley)

The hottest new couple of summer 2019 are Neck-Stabbed Greaser Zombie Post Malone and Reese Witherspoon’s Daughter From Big Little Lies, Except Rockabilly. Special thanks to whoever thought to fashion Young Thug’s dreads into a makeshift pompadour.

2. Anna Meredith – “Paramour” (Dir. Ewan Jones Morris)

These fools really built an entire elaborate train set out of Legos and instruments, and then mounted a fisheye-lens camera on the train, just so that they could bang out their Battles-ass math-rock instrumental in glorious forward motion. I would’ve hated to be the person who fucked up any of these takes.

1. Lil Uzi Vert – “Sanguine Paradise” (Dir. DAPS & Lil Uzi Vert)

The opening scene from Stephen Norrington’s 1998 masterpiece Blade — the bloodbath rave that turns into a dusted-vampire killfest — might be my favorite scene in the entire history of cinema. This video is a beautiful tribute to a magical movie moment. As co-director, Uzi could’ve cast himself as Blade. Instead, he decided to play the frosted-tips simp who refers to his dick as “my heatseeker” and who has to be saved. I am absolutely fascinated by this artistic decision, and I would love to spend like five hours discussing it with Uzi.