Cliffs Notes for “Trapped In The Closet” Chapters 6-12

what do you mean, like a dancer in a Fanta commercial?Sure, you heard about the farting midget that shows up in the later chapters of R. Kelly’s epic “Trapped in the Closet”, but those news stories ignored the real twist: someone (finally!) gets their entire ass shot. Save yourself the $15 and find out who by reading SomethingIsAwful’s Cliff’s Notes for chapters 6-12. It includes a handy sex map and a glossary:

Skank: A dance usually associated with ska music, characterized by leaning forward, extending the arms, and raising the knees.

Narrow ass: A poorly-rounded posterior.

Snurs her nose: A derisive nose-gesture of some kind.

Old crusty wig-wearing ass ho: An elderly woman with eczema who wears a wig and sells her body for money.

See chapters 1-5 here. Cliff’s Notes on Chapters 1-5 are here.

(priceless image from

Tags: R. Kelly