Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best Comments

Seeing Carly Rae Jepsen and Death Grips on back to back days, and if I wasn't way too online before, these next few days are gonna cement it. Truly my Barbenheimer of gigs.

Can we knock it off with the prison rape jokes in goddamn 2023 already?

Been relistening to The Hives to get my body ready to rock again. Can we all agree Tyrannosaurus Hives is actually their best album? Anyways, I'm ready to boogie this weekend.

On a non-brand-new-album note: that new Strange Ranger album kicks ass. I'm surprised at the lack of coverage it's gotten around here - it's like the best of the chillwave movement, up there with early Wild Nothing, Small Black, Memory Tapes, etc. Just a great vibe for late summer.

"Only Girl (In the World)" is bad parenthing. Not only are the parentheses completely unnecessary, but they necessitate the "I" in "In" to be capitalized, when it otherwise shouldn't be.

I forgot that used to keep track of these! I have updated my list:

GOOD AND BAD PARENTHING

ESSENTIAL

Wooden Heart (Muss I Denn)

Brandy (You're A Fine Girl)

Escape (The Pina Colada Song)

Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now)

I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)

I Like the Way (The Kissing Game)

I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)

Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)

 .

NOT CRUCIAL, BUT HELPFUL

Fingertips (Pt. II)

Love Machine (Part 1)

You Don’t Have To Be A Star (To Be In My Show)

Coming Up (Live at Glasgow)

St. Elmo's Fire (Man In Motion)

Stay (I Missed You)

Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix)

 .

HELPFUL, BUT THE MARKS ARE AROUND THE WRONG PART

Nel Blu Dipinto Di Blu (Volare)

I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)

Love Theme From A Star Is Born (Evergreen)

No More Tears (Enough Is Enough)

Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do)

Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)

(Everything I Do) I Do It for You

Exhale (Shoop Shoop)

Doo Wop (That Thing)

Crank That (Soulja Boy)

 .

POINTLESS, PART 1: KEEP THE WORDS, LOSE THE PARENTHESES

Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin)

Alone Again (Naturally)

(Hey Won’t You Play) Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song

He Don't Love You (Like I Love You)

(Love Is) Thicker Than Water

(I Just) Died In Your Arms

(I've Had) The Time of My Life

I'll Be Loving You (Forever)

Love Will Never Do (Without You)

(I Can't Help) Falling in Love With You

Only Girl (In the World)

 .

POINTLESS, PART 2: LOSE THE PARENTHESES AND THE WORDS INSIDE THEM

The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)

(You're My) Soul and Inspiration

(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction

Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me)

(Just Like) Starting Over

Morning Train (9 To 5)

I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)

Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)

Caribbean Queen (No More Love on the Run)

There’ll Be Sad Songs (To Make You Cry)

I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)

(Can't Live Without Your) Love and Affection

Come on Over Baby (All I Want Is You)

Buy U a Drank (Shawty Snappin')

 .

JUST EGREGIOUSLY WRONG

Judy In Disguise (With Glasses)

Give Me Love (Give Me Peace On Earth)

(You're) Having My Baby

(Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty

All Night Long (All Night)

Don't You (Forget About Me)

Baby, I Love Your Way/Freebird Medley (Free Baby)

Because I Love You (The Postman Song)

Look, it's inarguable that a lot of the attention paid to Scowl comes from Kat being a glamorous frontwoman in a genre for which Henry Rollins is still the most widely accepted mental model of a frontman, but the product generally delivers. The idea that major labels would give enough of a shit about hardcore to "plant" a band is risible to the point of being - and only meager apologies for the pun - sublime.

🎶A fascist in leads a fascist indeed A fascist in lede is better

A fascist with breasts and all the rest A fascist who's dressed in leather

A fascist who sues is a fascist indeed A fascist who'll lose is better

Our votes effect, can make us blessed And make for better weather🎶

I still can't get over the fact that his actual name is Daystar, but he chose to go by an utter tool name like "Tory". Really shot himself in the foot there.

I’m no insider, but I feel confident saying the industry doesn’t care enough about hardcore or your scene to start planting bands.

I literally grieve that we let these people rule news cycles and that includes a certain former president running for office. Can I see quotes splashed across news channels from people that know what they’re talking about and have an ounce of human dignity?

Yes, I know I clicked.

was an Urban Outfitters closing or what