Video Hangover: Spandau Ballet – “I’ll Fly For You”

Every week, we dig in the archives for videos that we find noteworthy, memorable, or just unbelievably stupid. And then, Jon McMillan breaks ‘em down for you. Why Video Hangover? Because when you watch as many videos as we do, you’re going to feel it afterwards.

“I’ll Fly For You”
Spandau Ballet, 1984

This week: the worst courtroom video of all time.

You know how much I love courtroom videos, but I defy you to puzzle out the plot of this soft-rock wankfest. It’s like the worst Ken Burns documentary ever mixed with the most boring episode of Law & Order ever. Nothing even happens in the courtroom (unless you count the judge’s fabulous mustache). No gavel banging, no dance party, no Sammy Hagar backflips. And to what dramatic end? None that I could see. Seriously, I watched this video five times, and I still have no idea what Cynthia Nixon is on trial for, or what the love-deal is between her and the guy from Superman 2. Somebody help me out here. Certainly there’s no reason for Spandau Ballet to break her out of “prison” (prison in this case meaning an unlocked police car stopped in Mardi Gras traffic). At least they have the decency to die in a fiery, Thelma & Louise-esque death pact. No, it doesn’t make any sense, but it’s something to look forward to, at least.

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