Again with the Tom Cruise-featuring, Unicorn-lacking films.
War of the Worlds: Tom Cruise, no Unicorns + Dakota Fanning = save us from the horror
Every Mission Impossible film: Tom Cruise, no Unicorns = fuck franchised remakes
Far and Away: Tom Cruise, no Unicorns = total suckage
Legend: Tom Cruise + Unicorns = cosmic win
I rest my case.
Vanilla Sky? Really?
You must not have seen the Director's cut. They added back in all the scenes with the unicorns and it all just clicked in to place.
Seriously though, fuck Tom Cruise and his entire post-Legend non-Unicorn featuring movie career.
The nomination of A Knight's Tale must fail.
Any move featuring David Bowie, Queen and Bachman Turner Overdrive on the soundtrack contains too much win to be nominated.
Plus, the Macguyver-esque construction of a waistcoat out of tent fabric (eerily reminiscent of Daniel's Shower Curtain Halloween costume in Karate Kid) clearly equals more win than most people can handle.
I like crepes (Mmmmmm, delicious crepes) but you will burn in hell for even attempting to besmirch the reputation of childhood classics like TNES and Labyrinth.
If you'd gone for the trifecta by nominating the Dark Crystal...let's just say that tasty crepes or no, you'd be next on Inigo Montoya's hit list.
Grrrrr.
Code 46 is just wrong.
1) Sex with another person's mother = hot MILF action
2) Sex with your own mother = burn in hell with the evil people who talk during movies
3) Sex with a clone of your mother = see 2. Also, if they can do cloning, why isn't the world full of clones of Victoria's Secret models?
Fuck me. How could I have forgotten this movie? It is totally batshit.
500 internets for you Gabe if you can:
1) Work out what the hell this movie is actually about, because
2) Your brain will explode if you try to watch it all the way to the end.
This movie makes ExistenZ look like a cookie cutter Hallmark classic by comparison.
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