I had a dream last night that Mystery, the pick-up artist, and Short Round from Indiana Jones were out in the club talking to girls. Mystery was rocking the shit out of a feather boa and a wizard hat, but whenever a girl seemed interested in his magic tricks or whatever, Short Round would pop out from nowhere and shout, "No time for love, Mr Mystery!" I'm also on some strong pain medication.
Yes!!! A couple weeks ago I tried rapping on a song for my friend's band. One of the better lyrics was...
I knew right away she was tryin to get my pants off/
But I said, first things first, let's go have a dance off/
She got real gangsta and broke out the Charleston/
I got super fresh and I did the Carlton/
The best lyrics were...
There's this girl I met on a pizza delivery/
A knock on my door, the name tag said Hillary/
She gave me my pizza, then she offered me some strange/
I gave her just the tip then I tried to pay in change/
Thanks for listening
I'm actually happy to hear Jennifer Aniston finally has a new movie coming out! (huh?!?) Only because I know she is the next guest on Between Two Ferns.
This has nothing to do with this, but I was just at the movie theater and the guy in front of me said, "One adult for Jackass 3-D." One ADULT! Hahaha. Sure. I decided that was probably better than any movie that was playing so I decided to just come home.
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