I can't even look at the STILL on that video, I am sure as FUCK not going to press play. Cannot wait for the part of the trial where his lawyer says "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is THIS the face of a child pornographer?" and the jury is all "BURN HIM, BURN HIM AT THE STAKE, HANGING IS TOO GOOD FOR HIM."
I'm going to close this window now, without scrolling up.
Of course what would've been a GREAT reality show is if she had died of thirst in the middle of the ocean, and then camera crews could have followed her parents around as they went through the process of mourning the death of their beautiful child. So yknow, WIN/WIN, CONGRATULATIONS AMERICA.
It's SAGET. Coming from somebody who's so concerned about everybody else's typos, that's not just a misspelling, it's HATE SPEECH, especially if one views the internet using 18th-century orthography, as I do, for some reason.
History repeats itself. If my calculations are correct, not only will this Scientologist's ill-conceived vanity project be one of the worst movies ever made, it will costar Forrest Whitaker (also totally buried under latex Jewface makeup), and there will be so many dutch tilts that even my throwup will throw up.
You know, we all loved Mark Wahlberg in Boogie Nights, where he played that dimwitted no-talent (well, one-talent) loser so sympathetically, but I'm not sure how he's still considered a Hollywood Star?
Not as much as I hate knowing THIS:
Marky Mark WAS, briefly, in NKOTB.
Yes, just knowing the difference between Marky and Donny is a little sad, but I am fully willing to take this to the next level of faggotry. (I can say "faggotry" because I am gay)
People, bisquetaker's right. STOP DISLIKING THINGS! We need to start finding everybody's comments fucking hilarious all of the time, starting with his (or hers).
So sad!
Also, I see that there are no YouTube clips of her performance in Paul Zindel's 'Let Me Hear You Whisper,' which I still remember watching in junior high. What a goddess. "It STREAKS, Helen! It STREAKS!"
INEXPLICABLY this video has more downvotes than upvotes, on YouTube. Can we please turn that around? This is basically the best family, out of all possible families. IT'S TAPE kid is certainly the best kid. So how could it even be POSSIBLE that this video is not the best video? Again: we have to turn this around, people.
Okay, Joaquin, Casey, first of all, GREAT JOB, I think you've really done something you can be proud of. But now that my consortium of investors and I are releasing this film, we wonder if we could talk you into making a few little changes in post. See, we bought the rights to this other franchise, and we were thinking maybe we could kill two birds with one stone here, and maybe make a little bit of box office magic while we're at it. Hear me out, now, hear me out:
See, I wonder if we could add another subplot, with some reshoots and maybe some creative editing, just a little CGI, about you being stalked by a killer robot from the future. See, in the future, the robots are going to rise up and—
No, no, no, don't interrupt, see, that's the thing, it wouldn't be a "Terminator ripoff," it would actually be the Terminator. Yeah, that's the franchise, see me and Gabe and the monsters, I mean investors, we—no, okay, that's fair, it is a little late for a callback on that. No, it's really not that funny at this point, is it. Yeah, no, I see where you're coming from. Well, I mean still, why don't you boys sleep on it, let's talk this over some more. Okay, I gotta go, I'm getting a ring in, I'll talk to you guys soon, ok bye bye.
Comments