Every once in a while It occurs to me that tampon commercials for an alternate universe where men get their period would make a great Funny or Die sketch series. One opens on a WWII battle field, and a dude gets shot, the medic hands him a tampon that he jams in the bullet wound, then thumbs up the camera. The other has Michael Phelps is butterflying through a pool with red water, and at the end, he leaps out of the water and plugs a giant hose that is pouring blood into the pool with a tampon, and then he thumbs-up the camera.
Never mind you guys, iFalse eAlarm, I just had the title wrong:
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51RvN1-sbfL._SL500_SX260_.jpg
Although I am surprised there are NO results that match that classic line from the book...
I was going to recommend that this could be one of those "You decide" posts, with the alternative to charlie's dos and don'ts being to read the book "Do Walk a Puppy, Don't Walk a Pumpkin" one of my favorite Mr. Silly books from my childhood. Rather disturbingly though, Google refuses to acknowledge that this book ever existed...but if that's true, how come I know to plant flowers and not pencils! answer that, GOOGLE.
My summers consisted of:
A) riding my bike around and eating as much candy as I could get my hands on, playing flashlight tag, and some NES
B) That one miserable week I spent at a sleepaway camp where I couldn't get any decent sleep because the other boys kept climbing in and out of the window next to my bed to go on "panty raids"
Which I suppose prepared me to be:
A) A redneck Meth addict
B) A nerd who hates frats.
Neither of which, I suppose, do you want to go into unprepared...
I took a class in "The Anthropology of Basball" (prospective employerzzzz) in college and I really wish I had known about baseball game proposals at the time, I totally would have done my final paper on them. Instead I did it on concessions.
Monsieur D'Arque Week, where we realize we came late to a really fun comments section, and do wild-card searches on Google to find a suitable obscure reference...
http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20101003014414/disney/images/thumb/c/ca/Batb_1824.jpg/258px-Batb_1824.jpg
All I could think watching this was, yeah! if clubs were full of fun-loving furry barn animals and bowls of cookies, I might actually GO OUT! Soooo, either I am a child, an old man, or a closeted furry. But maybe there's no real difference, and let's all just accept each other. #pbscares
When EVE watches the tape and realizes that Wall-E was taking care of her the whole time. Damn. Tears that pure could wash away the sting of just about any tragedy.
I took a year off between high school and college and went abroad (ladies...and I do realize that that my appeal to the ladies needs to be more finely crafted than ever, as we are now living under a GLORIOUS MATRIARCHY!) and when I came back, I clutched my little combination VCR/TV in my lap and watched the Replacement Killers and cry tears of joy to be home, where I could let my hair down, speak without conjugating verbs in my head, stop thinking constantly about whether I was making the most of a once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity and just relax and watch an assassin and document forger with hearts of gold kill people and fall in platonic love.
The lost recaps were the sweet nectar that brought me in as well. They helped me make sense of this frustrating and beguiling time in my pop culture emotional life. A tough TV time for us all, and Gabe guided the ship through those tumultuous waters. I was pretty much a bleeding anti-leader commie coming out of college, and have slowly over time met people who have such a way with bringing/keeping/nurturing smart people together to GET POSITIVE THINGS DONE (blog comment conversations) that it has restored my faith in the existence of a quality called leadership. Thanks Gabe, for the LOLs and conversation. I hope your blog about coaching the Philadelphia Pioneers is a great success!
yeah, I think the international high council decided that as long as you're talking about fake piano improvs or ramen noodle flavors it's not racist...
A thousand upvotes my friend. I love Pom Poko. I always cry a little at the end. Plus it makes me much more amenable to the racoons that terrorize the general area around trashcans in Prospect Park.
Those pictures of the royals make me have a sudden weird craving for a husband/wife prince/princess of England superhero movie. I think "son of Lady Diana frustrated at the uselessness of his royal position, brought to a head by marrying a non-royal who makes him reflect even further on the absurdity of his birthright, so he feels the need to overcompensate and acutually fight crime with his crimefighting wife" would be a pretty decent origin story.
I'm still convinced he could be one of the best with the right director. (my above comments notwithstanding) he's even got the strangely square, lipless face that just looks right in a comic book adaptation. He's about the right age for a Batman Returns role, too...
Idris Elba for Batman or bust. Seriously. He's got the body, the big-ass hands, the brooding, the smoothness, and tortured soul. He's even got the mixture of big expressive eyes that can also squint in a way that alllmost knocks you unconscious. And his voice is pre-gravelly, so no weird Christian Bale artificial gravel!
When I watched Luther S2:E1 and S2:E2 this was basically a Joker story, it sealed the deal for me. I'm inconsolable. Plus Alice~Catwoman and/or Poison Ivy, no? My only comfort in knowing this won't happen until all the racists grandpas have gone to join their long-lost hunting dogs, is that he already kinda was Batman in Luther, just with better camera work, music, lighting, acting, etc...than a hollywood comic book adapt will most likely be able to achieve.
This is the first time I've ever noticed the filthy potential of the "two in the bush" turn of phrase, and the last time I will acknowledge it...*moonwalks away*
I'm Preeetty sure there are enough of these amazing VG spec scripts lying around get a robust Vimeo channel of original motion pictures starring Gabe, Kelly and Birdie in various roles off the ground...
Does anyone else get the sneaking suspicion that these two children are the bodily incarnations of two deities in the pantheon of the soul of the internet?
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