I was thinking about how I nominated Stranger Than Fiction a bunch of time and still get downvotes for it (BE STRONG) but really, I want to nominate Irreversible. I mean, Stranger Than Fiction is still total goober b.s. and should be widely ridiculed, but I think it's more interesting to nominate a movie that I think is really great and successful at what it sets out to do (rain barf). it also reminds me of the Funny Games writeup, insomuch as it's a movie that I really thought was great but I absolutely hated watching and will never watch again. also, tons of people hate the movie so even if Gabe just thinks it's bilge it will still be a great writeup full of oofs and yikes and one jailcell pleases. WIN WIN RIGHT? on a related note (#brutalrape) Dan Aykroyd's face continues to astound and bewilder me. I need some spooky skull vodka stat.
this is absolutely the stupidest thing I've ever felt the compunction to correct, but Aslan is Jesus. there's an agony in the garden and everything! I need a drink and a shower.
I got this game for christmas when I was little. it took me and my older brother all of one time playing it to lose most of the ball bearings. you were better off with Mousetrap, believe me.
me threes. and I live in Massachusetts, so I pay a tax penalty. because.... I can't afford.... less money.... I'm still not sure why that law got passed.
BUTCH PATRICK STAY OUTTA MASSACHUSETTS.
GHOST OF CHRISTMAS UPVOTES.
come to think of it, Muppet Family Christmas is probably my favorite, but that's impossible to find, and not a full 90 minutes.
that movie was almost (maybe not almost) enjoyable for the unbelievable frothiness of Kevin Spacey and his wife for each other. was that Annette Benning? American Beauty Episode 1: Attack of the Crones (yuck sorry). and then they want a divorce. and then they tell his mom that they hate her. AND THEN THEY'RE IN LOVE AGAIN. perfect.
Bad Santa (we need a little diversity as far as outlook don't we?)
Home Alone 2 (double header? the sequel has Rob Schneider!)
Scrooged (this is my favorite holiday movie. it is my christmas present to Gabe nominating this)
Groundhog Day (cheating)
Born on the Fourth of July (more cheating. and floppy penis talk)
and the whole EVERYONE IS IN ON PROJECT MAYHEM thing was fucking terrifying! not cool! scary! so no, I don't think it was really commodifying those anarchist elements?
I'm no longer sixteen and filled with impotent rage and the desire to know better but.....
you guys do realize that neither Edward Norton nor Brad Pitt were supposed to be sympathetic right? Edward Norton hated his life but was too callow or oblivious to do anything on his own, and was so self absorbed that he walked all over the only person that accepted him (Marla, who is like the only sympathetic character in the movie), and Brad Pitt is just a sociopath that has convinced himself that his megalomania and rejection of societal structures and norms (Edward's subconscious desires) are the means to the end and everything he does is justified. it's not until the big reveal where he starts kicking Edward Norton's ass where Edward Norton even kind of sympathetic. at least that's how I always read it, even when I was a kid and totes loved the movie to pieces. I mean the characters ooze cool, but they're obviously a fantasy we know SHOULD ABSOLUTELY NOT be realize because those people are assholes, and the movie's closing shot pretty much points out how bad an idea it would be, or at least alludes to it.
oh and that love was the fifth element or something.
http://www.monstersandcritics.com/image.php?file=/downloads/downloads/articles2/1550695/article_images/dolan.jpg&height=354
Wes Bentley's still got the crazy eyes down
I remember seeing the Usual Suspects on VHS right before I saw this movie and my friends and I just gushed our supple young teenage asses off about how Spacey was like the greatest actor of his generation (because obviously). and then the rest of that guy's career happened, and we were like FIGHT CLUB IS AWESOME. let's go in the woods and punch each other a couple times!
they should have just got someone to do a really bad Robert Shaw impression, and by that I mean just keep muttering "doll's eyes" over and over again. I had nothing to do last night is what I'm saying.
this is the last time I will nominate Stranger Than Fiction because I'm pretty sure all the suggestions are getting archived or something. also it is TEARING ME APART. not really, I just think it's a howling brain obliterating abomination of a film, and I think fits perfectly with the idea of a movie trying to be BIG IDEA and IMPORTANT and just being a grilled garbage sandwich. and it also reminds me of the Nick and Norah review where we as the audience were supposed to agree with, or at least understand how the characters could really love that stupid band, and how important and revelatory the secret show was supposed to be (until it wasn't duh SCREEN WRITING) but it completely failed to accomplish that? that's how I always felt about how Dustin Hoffman tries to convince Will Ferrell to let a woman MURDER HIM WITH WORDS because her art was so important. I mean, jesus you're telling someone that a book is more important than their life and that they should just fucking die and get out of the way, yr an asshole by the way, and then you hear voiceovers from the supposed important lifechanging (AND ENDING) novel, and its just whatever? like, teenage girls that talk about how Chuck Palanhiuk is GOD wouldn't get excited or inspired by that, but hey let her MURDER YOU. AND THEN WILL FERRELL AGREES WITH THIS CONCEPT TOTALLY. oh and there's a punk rock baker because that is both a thing and she falls in love with Will Ferrell even though he is not a punk rocker or a baker and he's auditing her but HE PLAYS GUITAR NOW. so LOVE.
so the movie is offensive and stupid and nonsense and irritating and thinks way too highly of itself is what I'm saying, and I think it would make a good WMOAT, because it totally already is the WMOAT. but I don't this feature to ever end so maybe don't review it? 2012?
#moviesnotgettingreviewedthisweek
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