Seriously, Gabe. What is that, six or seven sentences in a paragraph? Who do you think you are - Samuel Beckett?
Well, I've had it with your experimental prose. I come here, use up my attention span, and then I have no energy left for watching TV. IF I WANTED TO READ A BOOK I'D GO TO STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKE!!!!!
Signed,
I don't want to read a book.
Thomas Haden Church is maybe the most boring person this side of Mark Ruffalo. But it was worth watching just to see Mr. MacDonald kind of get under his skin.
"I wasn't in Open Range..."
The fact that Rachel Getting Married is being preceded by Caligula and Beowulf makes no sense to me.
I know it drags, but I think it's a bad fit for WMOAT. For a movie that goes out of its way to be hard to watch, it's surprisingly unpretentious and heartfelt. It's about people who try to love each other, despite some ugly circumstances. It's well-acted across the board. I'm on board with the 'White People with Problems' movies stink manifesto, believe me. But that's because so often the filmmakers -- and not the characters -- are the ones making excuses for the mopey, stupid behavior. And in 'RGM' I don't think anybody's let off the hook, which is what differentiates it from 99.9% of White People With Problems movies.
I'm just saying, it's time to draw the line between 'White People With Problems' and 'History with Fisting.' Or 'Epic Poems with Computer Boobs.'
Or whatever. I'm going to watch Crank.
I watched Jay Leno on Bill Maher (talk about a room full of awesome dudes!), and while discussing one point, Mr. Leno said, "No, I'm not being funny."
At which point I yelled at the TV, "So you admit it!"
And then I laughed and laughed, the only time he's ever made me laugh in my life!
And then I realized that I was alone in my dark bedroom on a Friday night watching Jay Leno on Bill Maher.
The moral of the story is Jay Leno wins, that fucking bastard.
What's your problem? I said "right on."
But on second thought, MAYBE, just maybe... this is not the appropriate time/place/tone to meaningfully discuss the life and death of a public figure whose legacy apparently looms quite large over you. Sleep on it?
Unless I'm mistaken and Ted Kennedy was your boyfriend, which really seems like a topic more suited to this forum.
Right on. And while we're talking about Seinfeld, why don't you ever post anything negative about the John Quincy Adams administration. Fucking travesty, that was.
Or is it just too REAL for you, Gabe?
Ugh, so sick of this soft journalism. And meanwhile, hardly anybody is reporting that Joe Morgan sounds like Clay Davis.
This is why I pretend to read The Guardian.
Yeah, you're arguing that a very bad movie is actually a not-that-bad movie because the Nerd Messiah wrote it.
For the love of god, when will Neil Gaiman and his awful fans go away?
Way to go, FreeCreditReport.Com!! I was worried about your scruples while you were advertising on a show I'd never seen.
If only those goddamn fascists at Cash4Gold would follow suit... Until then, I'm keeping my gold.
No, I'm with you all the way. I lllllllloathe Forrest Gump, but I was functioning on the assumption that most people like garbage. You know the old saying: Underestimate the people what they want.
Hi, Robert Zemeckis c. 1980. I am Future Satan from 2009, and I have come to warn you about your career. You will make more than a dozen movies. I'm excited too, Past Zemeckis. But it's not "all good" as we say in the future. Yes, you will direct as many as TWO classics, which is more than most people ever direct. But you will also make a movie so terrible that you will never be allowed near real actors again... I cannot tell you which one will be so awful, but it will be one of these three. You've been warned Past Zemeckis!
One of these movies will suck:
1. A skateboarder who is friends with a mad scientist will get into a stupid car and go back in time. He will then almost hook up with his mom. Music by something called "Huey Lewis and the News"
2. A big idiot sits at a busstop telling stories. It's also about AIDS.
3. A big-budget adaptation of the classic Beowulf.
That's all I can say. Proceed with caution, Zemeckis.
I like my uncle.
But Jay Leno is ballzzz.
And what's this "maybe even Dave" stuff? You kids with your comic books and portable phones! More like "of course Dave." Dave is the best. He's not even very good anymore, and he's still the best. Letterman v. Grodin, interview of the century, am I right? Oh my god I like Charles Grodin, how old am I?
Fast Times at a High School That is Nothing Like High School
What Never Happens in Vegas or Anywhere
Zach Braff Goes to New Jersey?
Who greenlit that one?
Ew, you mean tax payer money will go to people who NEED it?!
I'm all for helping people -- unless they're poor and gross.
It's hard to say this without being too Seriousgum or maybe even Condescendinggum, but it's not abnormal to act out when you feel victimized. And I'm not for sure -- but I'm guessing a lot of these ninjas don't have the best education/nutrition/opportunities available.
So it's one thing to poke fun at the hypermasculine posturing and dead animal boinging (bad!), but we probably should keep in mind that they're, like, people and stuff with, you know, like, inherent worth (good?).
I see these pictures, and I want to mock these people... but all I can think to say is that life really is a lot of pain.
If only I had a dead animal to fuck to lift my spirits...
This is really upsetting. I put in a lot of hard work to get sober and become a nicer person, to better myself and the world around me. And now I find out that I could have been making $$cashmoney$$ by being proud of how hateful I was? What!?! Stupid, stupid, stupid... I need to start a blog asap...
Gee, the writing is so rudimentary it's almost as if any dickhead could do it! Dickheads, all that's standing in the way of your fame and your fortune is maybe a little bit of shame, maybe a shred of decency, but probably just a supercool name (Cheever Blowpox, Walker Zexstrong) and a rich daddy with no love for you in his heart, who will fund your dumbscapades, not so much a parent as a benevolent benefactor advancing the cause of asininity. ...
Damn son I just got raped by a brain hemorrhage, lol. This sucks worse than being a Mexican woman!
/dead.
I was going to fund your movie, really, but I forgot and instead funding Katherine Heigl's movie about her as a NASA space science grand master who's also a LADY! And all of her co-workers see HER doing SCIENCE work, and they're like, 'I don't get it; is this a kitchen?'
And she's like, "No, stupid, it's feminism."
And it's rough until her handsome NASA astronaut space scientist co-worker is like, "I get it." And they fall in love and she has babies but continues her career because TR Knight can just look after them. IT'S NOT LIKE ANYBODY ELSE IS GOING TO GIVE HIM KIDS LOL
With the economy and joblessness and homelessness and lacknessness of good meaty roles for beautiful, young, blonde women, I decided to go with a different project. Anyway, better luck next time. Hey, maybe I can score you guys some tickets to "2011: A Space Lady, Yeah Right!?"
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