Not a movie really, but the only Christmas themed thing I've enjoyed in years was last night's Misfits Christmas Special. From where they had to kill Jesus to stop him raping to stomping the shit out of that afterbirth, it was 100 percent holiday good times.
I am in the middle of the second season and I am also sad because we used to make The Wire in this country.
http://blog.nj.com/entertainment_impact_tv/2009/06/large_wire-hardcases-frank.jpg
Best line of all Thursday night:
"I fucked a monkey."
"Technically, it was a gorilla."
This Sunday--the only Christmas special with murder! Because even though they are the heroes and I love the chav girl, they do kill people and get over it pretty quickly. Kids today...
Personally, I think the big story here is that this is his second collaboration with Val Kilmer in as many years. I only know this because Netflix keeps trying to foist Streets of Blood on me because it's set in my city.
No, because I still love crazy old Randy Quaid. But it would be cool to set up a secret cabal dedicated to leaving evidence of the existence of the Hollywood Star Whackers around LA and Canada for various journalists to find.
"No, no, they are all freaks. Not one of them under five foot six. What kind of theater are you running, huh?...No, no, more of the funny show, the little puppets hitting each other. That's what I like, LITTLE THINGS HITTING EACH OTHER."
--Napoleon Bonaparte
I again appeal to Gabe for a Preview button so people figuring out how to post photos don't have to be embarrassed by repeatedly posting different links until one works. (I'm talking about me Crindy, don't be sad.)
Roger Ebert picked "Nothing But Trouble" as one of his worst of 1991 on At The Movies. But when I went looking for his review of it, I found his review of another movie, "North." He writes:
"I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it."
He also calls it "a bad film - one of the worst movies ever made."
I have never seen this film, but I trust Roger Ebert, and so I hereby nominate "North" for the hunt.
Hmm, paranoid.
Back in 2000, I was moving out of town but had a lag time of a month between my lease ending and my departure. So I moved in with a guy I knew from work who I didn't know very well, but seemed cool.
The first night, we're sitting around having a few and he asks me what I think about the new world order.
I say it's not Ministry's best song, but it's cool if he wants to put it on.
"That's not what I mean," he says.
"Oh, I get you. I don't really watch wrestling," I say.
Nope.
20 minutes later, I have the tequila bottle sitting in my lap as I listen to something about black helicopters and while he seems to think he's found a kindred spirit, I'm just taking slugs and thinking, "it's just a month. It's only one month..."
I was moving to rural Alabama. The year before 9/11.
I don't think of myself as a bad person, but given my druthers, Videogum would just be an endless nightmare for Gabe of WMOAT, Jersey Shore recaps, thirtysomething recaps, anti-bad entertainer screeds...sort of like Never Let Me Go/The Island for the intellect, where the only prisoner/donor is Gabe.
Sorry, I am a bad person.
she looks like she’s about to walk into a casting call for a porno
I guess Gabe is referring to this:
"A script for 'Inferno,' the upcoming Linda Lovelace biopic in which Lindsay Lohan plays the 'Deep Throat' porn star, has leaked and it is more gruesome than one could imagine. Lindsay's character is violently abused by her mother and later is humiliated by her husband/manager, who makes her talk about how stupid and ugly she is while he brings her to orgasm then beats her and starts shopping her out for group sex. Soon she is encouraged to have sex with a dog."
Although Jezebel says the script is "incredibly well written."
"From there, things just get worse: Chuck coerces Linda into turning tricks; her first encounter is in a seedy motel with five middle-aged businessmen. One fondles her breast while singing a tune from Mary Poppins. Later in the script, she gets a strange boob job, cooks naked and gets a violent spanking from Chuck. She cries — sobs — while making the legendary film Deep Throat, and has a foursome with Sammy Davis Jr. at Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion, where there's also a crowd that urges her to have sex with a German Shepherd...But the truth is, the script is actually incredibly well-written."
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