Comments

My grad program gives credit only to museum internships. Can you be a museum, Gabe? If not, QUIT PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART! But lots and lots of love to the lucky who(m)ever that gets this sweet gig. EXCELSIOR, JOURNALISM UNDERGRADS!
Only if they are filled with mustard and ketchup! I heard Gabe loves pranks, and what is funnier than a prank where you spray internet strangers with staining condiments while shrieking HAVE FUN AT DINNER NOW, MOTHERFUCKERS! Nothing. I am laughing just thinking about it!
Oh, ABSOLUTELY NOT. I said I'd punish myself with a viewing for a nonsensical comment, but I wasn't actually going to do it. Once in my entire life is more than enough. I'll continue punishing myself in the usual ways - underachieving, never making doctors' appointments, etc.
Admission? Submission? Suggestion? Words are hard. Good thing I am going back home to Texas next week to stay with my parents! MLIHF
YES! My first and probably only ever successful admission to the Hunt. You're welcome, Gabester. I was about 12 or 13 when I saw this, and even I knew this was one of the shittiest movies I'd ever see. And kids are so dumb and love terrible things! That is how scarringly bad this movie is!
"I call to the stand one JAMES K. GOOGLE!"
I believe he is off having a job where he can't access the internet during the day. And, of course, The Smurfs remains popular in syndication.
I know, I thought about my comment after I posted it and thought you had a fair enough point and I should've kept my e-mouth shut. Soooorry! Please accept this as an apology.
"What Mario isn't telling you... he's a racist."
"Hello, Senator Hutchinson? I'M A RACIST! NO! Goodbye!" Problem. Solved.
This guy is like the real-life Dorf, a.k.a. MY DREAM COME TRUE!
That is him screaming at the mailbox in drag, yes. Also, Bellini! Yay, I forgot how much I loved Kids in the Hall. I used to watch that shit like it was my job (it sort of was. I watched it ALL summer long when I was about 14 and Comedy Central showed it 20 times a day).
Saying the Kids in the Hall look like the League of Gentlemen is like saying Monty Python looks like Mr. Show. Whaaaa? There's an order here!
Oh yeah, the '80s were all about random apostrophes, cheesy pornos, and women firing guns with their vaginas. It was a crazy time!
The people of New York are IDIOTS. Don't they remember how he tried to block out the sun to get Springfield to rely on his power plant? Jeez, research your candidate, why don't you!
Thank me later for these nightmares:
Does Wesley Snipes have Whoopibrows going on? Also, I thought he was in jail for tax evasion? I guess not. Good for him.
That's ME inside Brian. Sorry. But I won't leave till he gives me back my Styx tape.
I am glad MTV pixelated that middle finger! Because despite all the anti-intellectual vanity, the terrible, temporary, selfish life choices, and the shameless pandering for popularity and fame MTV reality shows have thus far helped broadcast, celebrate, and breed, the worst thing in the whole world that could happen is if we saw someone flip someone else the bird. PHEW! CLOSE ONE, MTV! THANK YOU!
The Smell of Penetration made me LOSE IT. I would hang that poster on my wall if someone made it.
I liked Walk Hard a lot, if you are considering actual movies that attempt parody and not Jason Friedberg/Aaron Seltzer-type productions.
That is definitely not my movie. I am pretty sure I wrote Nick and Norah's Infinitely SuperJuno in Year One's Arrested Paper Heart Development And Sophie's Choice. I am trying to get the guy from The Hottie and the Nottie to play the lead, Cichael Mera, but he told me he has "principles." What a dick!
Wait, I think you've gotten Steven Seagal mixed up with Paul Prudhomme. Paul Prudhomme would solve all the crime with delicious crawfish po-boys, and would not have a sad, deluded reality show where he pretends like he's not a washed-up, terrible actor and actually helps policemen who actually makes a difference for the better. Yup. Paul Prudhomme.
Flynn vs. Sark in 2ron: Boxe2
I can't decide whether I want my background as a gif of Uncle Sam kicking the Ayatollah Khomeini right in the tuckus or one of that hilarious up-and-comer David Spade wearing acid wash jeans and dancing to the beats of Salt-n-Pepa because parents just don't understand!!
Fuck this movie. I will not see anything about babies that are not geniuses, lost in a city, or have internal dialogues voiced by Bruce Willis and Roseanne Barr. HOLLYWOOD, GIVE ME MORE OF WHAT I WANT!!!
I imagine you looking just like your crying Charlie avatar as you eat your west coast toast.
I am down, gonna be in the TX for the holidays. Except I vote Bangs instead of Gaga. He will take us to the movies!
I was watching Hoarders and decided to become one so I could see and hear Edward as he warned me not to stuff my dead cat into a jack-o-lantern and leave it near my bed. MLIT
You all may laugh at robo-dance competitions NOW, but they are just preparing for when Skynet becomes self-aware. We'll all be robo-boogied to DEATH!
Or Charlize Theron can refuse to get married until gay-elf-nerds have the same rights, and also get to have gay elf nerd sex on the steps of the Capitol.
On second thought, this doesn't make sense. For wasting everyone's comment reading time, I sentence myself to one watching of Hope Floats. Why do I do this to myself? (Also, YAY for Envy. I walked out of that movie on the verge of angerbarf.)
It doesn't matter how many feet you remove, Gabe. Hope Floats will still hurt worse. GODSPEED, DELAHAYE!
It's like Mad Men's vague, pointless previews for next week's show. "Hello?" "You are ruining things!" "I take my tea with lemon." "What are we going to do?" "Harry Crane?" MAD MEN.
Oof, wait till the fourth book - DRACULA FUCKING SPOILER ALERT when Edward & Bella have sex (when she is still human), he covers her in bruises because of his superhuman vampire-fucking strength. YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKES
Hamm has to have the Don Draper hair ready all year round to be able to spring into Draper action at the drop of a hat (fedora, because 1960s).
Well, in general I am not a Wes Anderson fan (although I did like Rushmore), and this was no exception. His humor and pacing have never appealed to me. I think his movies are very well made, and I thought this one was especially beautiful, but his movies are for people who aren't me, I guess!
I saw it this weekend, and boy, did I not like it. At all. Diff'rent strokes 4 diff'rent folks!