Good week, and to cap it, the season finale of Portlandia, which, according to Wikipedia, has a Metacritic rating of "generally favorable review." For an IFC show, that's like three Michelin stars.
This was an interesting conversation, but skirted some equally important issues, such as: what does Tootie think of stem cell research? Where does Punky Brewster stand on the topic of single provider healthcare? What, for heaven's sake, is Moesha's position on motorcycle helmet laws?
Equally important, I tell ya.
My "It's a Small World" screenplay is really coming together. The producers think we can sign Andy Serkis as the Dutch Girl if the CGI guys can get the wooden shoes right.
I think she's hiding a kid under there.
OK, actually, the fact that she struck that half-sexy, half-ridiculous (or "sexdiculous" as I'll call it from now on) leg-flash pose, first on the red carpet in front of all the cameras, THEN took it up on stage and did it again, stood out for me, and caused this thought to be hammer-forged in the Isengard-like fires of my mind: maybe, just maybe, she's got a sense of humor???
Also, IMO, she could stand to make love to some cheeseburgers. I thought she looked a little unhealthily skinny up on stage.
Hey, was it just me, or were the Oscar commercials better than the Super Bowl commercials? And was there even such a thing as Oscar commercials last year, or is this a totally new thing?
Best Picture: Hugo (because of Hugh Jackman, who goes in his pants)
Best Actor: Jean Dujardin (aka John of the Garden)
Best Actress: Viola Davis (I like the name Viola)
Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer (actually, he's an Actor!)
Best Supporting Actress: Berenice Bejo (It's pronounced "beejew")
Best Director: Michel Hazanavicius (Scorsese already got his sympathy Oscar.)
Best Original Screenplay: A Seperation (whenever a movie is nominated for writing, but nothing else, it's because the writing's good. Another sign that the writing is good is that there are no horses in the main role.)
Best Adapted Screenplay: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (I always want this award to go to someone who took a really, really shitty book and made a mediocre movie out of it. But I don't read any of these, so I'm betting my ballot on a lot of alliteration.)
Best Foreign Film: Bullhead (Mark Wahlberg's in the Academy, right? I bet he'd vote for this.)
Best Animated Film: A Cat In Paris (Film people think Paris is awesome! Except Mark Wahlberg, I bet. Word.)
Art Direction: Hugo (Pretty damn arty looking from the trailer. Also, there was a Dove ad prior to the trailer, and that's good soap.)
Cinematography: The Artist (Guillaume Schiffman) (Black and white = creativity! My first TV was very creative.)
Costume Design: Jane Eyre (Sweeps the redneck block for the win. "Look! Them dresses look just like the ones in the paintin's!")
Documentary (Feature): Hell and Back Again (Triumph over tragedy = Oscar gold, man!)
Documentary (Short Subject): The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom (see Tragedy note above, also: Oscar Goldman. "We can rebuild him." Timely reference!)
Film Editing: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (I saw one of the film reels at the theater and the splicing was exquisite. Surgical, really. Best splice job I've ever seen.)
Makeup: The Iron Lady (Effective use of make-up to show the varying facets of Thatcher's personality. "Less Iron! More Lady!" they shouted in the make-up room a lot, I bet.)
Music (Original Score): The Adventures of Tin Tin (John Williams at his echo-y trumpet-blaring best!)
Music (Original Song): "Man or Muppet" (Vote against the Muppets, and I skip next year's Oscars. That's the deal.)
Short Film (Animated): The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore (Long names are easier to vote for. That's why Al Gore lost Florida.)
Short Film (Live Action): Tuba Atlantic (Many Oscar voters like titles that are hard to say out loud, just to watch the announcers struggle.)
Sound Editing: War Horse (I imagine there's a lot good neighing going on)
Sound Mixing: Hugo (Too much neighing, now that I think about it.)
Visual Effects: Hugo (Fuck you, Andy Serkis. Love, the Academy.)
One should never have to choose a favorite baby, unless one is presented a catalog of babies and an order form during the adoption process and one is Angelina Jolie, but I'm still picking the guy on the left. He had moves.
I think this proves the old saying, "the best art comes from self-examination, but not every self-examination is art, especially if it involves the prostate."
I was surprised when he jackmanned on the rug, and flat out offended when he depardtwoed later! The goldberg at the end was forgivable, though. I mean, who doesn't let slip a little nancygrace while you're sleeping?
Well, you know how when an actor or director dies, they sometimes give him the nomination just because they'll never get the chance again? This is the Academy doing that, but for Jonah Hill's last film with his big body. They nominated his fat.
I'm secretly not hating The New Girl, too. It's still a little forced, but it feels like a first season show that has potential if the writers settle into a stride.
P.S. Where I grew up, "secretly" means "publicly."
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