At first, I thought this was going to be about Ken Jennings, the terrifying cyborg who held Jeopardy hostage for three months. Then I saw the talking screen and realized that's who you were worried about. Then I wondered why we can't be talking about both of them. Is Trebek missing because the robots thought he knew too much? Was this event orchestrated by the robots to flaunt their dominance? Only the robots know, and that's why we're doomed
Holy cripes so many of us!
But seriously, fratstar is the best, because those asses can't spell, and because who the hell would brag about being the king of the keg? colin was smart to avoid that pitfall
It feels like I'm watching that ad on NBC where leslie is like were back and then donna is like we're back? and then they milk that shot with donald glover yelling ALL NIGHT like three times and then they show their new thursday comedy night lineup which now has like a baker's dozen shows once kath and kim comes back. but anyway this moment feels like leslie knope herself walked into my room and was like "we're back" and all is well
It's pretty ironic that in a store full of knives, the most dangerous part of the store would definitely be whatever horrifying ailment you would get for touching that woman.
THOSE ARE LEAST. THEY, THE EPISODE, THEY WERE JUST FUCKIN.
I feel like Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind right now. Have I cracked the code, or am I just insane? I really don't know anymore
Is no one here concerned about this man's (mans's?) seemingly encyclopedic knowledge of serial killers? I'm just thankful there's an internet between us right now
No Country For Old Men: Tired with the complexities of modern society, a group of elderly gentlemen drive a garbage barge into international waters to start a new life for themselves. Jerry Stiller leads this ragtag bunch of octogenarians as they fight off pirates, sharks, and the Kraken in order to protect their new way of life. In the end, these men take up arms against a rival group of geriatrics led by John Cleese who live on an abandoned oil rig nearby, and in their victory, they forge a new nation for themselves. Jerry Stiller then realizes that, since the old men now have a country, the title of the movie is now meaningless, and he points this out in a hilarious fourth-wall breaking monologue as he sinks the garbage barge and everyone on it, which is supposed to be poetic or ironic or something. Uwe Boll mentions in the commentary that Waterworld was his main influence as he filmed this masterpiece
"OK, we've arrested one terrorist kitten and we have a statewide manhunt for the other. What's next on the agenda today, officer?"
"We've received reports that a pigeon flew into the door of a local bank. We haven't heard any reports from the inside yet, but presumably he's disabled the silent alarm and is holding everyone hostage. All we can do is wait for him to make his demands."
"Should we send a rookie to go get some birdseed so we might distract him long enough for the snipers to get into place."
"We would, but a mother duck is leading her row of ducklings across the interstate. It's gridlocked for miles. The SWAT team hasn't been able to get in there and resolve the situation."
"So many attacks in one day? These events must be coordinated somehow, but who could plan such a complicated...oh god"
"What is it, Sarge?"
"I know who the mastermind is. He's always wanted to ruin my career after I found out about his taking vegetable bribes under the table and kicked him off the force."
"My god, you don't mean-"
"That's right. Teacup pig"
Christine O'Donnell approves this message.
Christine O'Donnell is me.
I do not approve this message.
I feel like the universe is tearing apart right now
Guys, he says these ringtones are high-tech, futuristic marvels! If only someone can just invent a crappy keyboard with 50 preset sound effects that's sold at every Best Buy everywhere, we could hit four arbitrary keys and make our own masterpieces! The future is bright indeed
This show had a serious storyline about whether some kid who looks like he's trying to be Danny Zuko could still reproduce after some other kid who randomly had Down's Syndrome pegged him in the gonads with a football. My friend and I once made a game where we drank every time someone mentions teen sex or getting teen pregnant, and we couldn't even get through a full episode. I'm just glad we live in a world where Teen Mother Music Camp is a real and thriving industry
Damn it, I thought the title was Birdiequest at first glance, but it was this asshole instead. I haven't been this disappointed for weeks. Don't pretend your dog hasn't done something cute, Gabe, just get your damn camera rolling
I bet the prison system is wildly overcrowded in monopoly city because the police probably send every pedestrian who walks in some arbitrary square of sidewalk to jail.
Those wooden scooters looked so much better than the razors. all the older toys always look cooler. like those kids who rolled hoops with sticks. they were very cool
She had like a 30 foot head start but all those fat insurance companies caught up with her halfway through the race. so what this commercial is really saying is that the public option kinda sucks
let's paint, run, make a pumpkin, and stand in front of a time warp that shows a point in the near future where doing so many things at once eventually wears down a man's psyche to the point where he is so busy showing his teeth to his viewers that he can no longer tell the difference between a pumpkin and a hat
Comments