Shut Up, Dude 6/22/12

This week we saw the cover of Centipede Hz and the dong of Shia LaBeouf. But an even more controversial topic was David Lowery’s screed on paying for music in the digital age. You guys had a lot to say about it all, so let’s see who said it best and worst according to YOU.

THIS WEEK’S 10 HIGHEST RATED COMMENTS

#10

Kyle Webb | Jun 20th Score:18

thats all-together very ugly.

Posted in: Animal Collective Unveil Centipede Hz Cover
#9

Nicolas Gutierrez | Jun 19th Score:22

You work for a very prolific and respectable music organization, and only have 11,000 songs? Get your weight up

Posted in: David Lowery Blasts NPR Intern On File-Sharing
#8

Jack Braunstein | Jun 18th Score:23

My compulsive habit of pressing ‘Command-F–Shia LeBeouf’s dong’ on every webpage i stumble upon has finally paid off.

Posted in: Sigur Rós – “Fjögur Píanó” Video (Feat. Shia LaBeouf) (NSFW)
#7

Scott Otto | Jun 21st Score:24

it’s ok if i pronounce his name ‘deadmau five’ right?

Posted in: Deadmau5 Is The Best EDM Artist, Says Deadmau5
#6 byers | Jun 20th Score:25

I don’t know you must be sane or something.

Posted in: NME’s 20 Greatest Tracks Of The Past 60 Years
#5 estonian dwarf | Jun 20th Score:25

Why does the idea of ranking the twenty greatest tracks of the last sixty years seem silly to me?

Posted in: NME’s 20 Greatest Tracks Of The Past 60 Years
#4 yoko_oh_no | Jun 20th Score:27

This cover Hz to look at.

Posted in: Animal Collective Unveil Centipede Hz Cover
#3 HeiBräu | Jun 18th Score:32

Here’s what I wish for Paul McCartney’s birthday: that people would stop treating him like a John Lennon’s ball-and-chain. Prefer which Beatle you prefer (I may even prefer John’s songs myself), but let’s all stop acting like he wasn’t an absolutely stunning pop songwriter. Whoever said “The Beatles are dying in reverse order of coolness” should be disbarred from discussing music in any context.

(James Murphy is a genius, but Chris Martin isn’t “as talented as Paul McCartney.” Just because Martin happens to write music in an era of ubiquity doesn’t make “Yesterday” or “Helter Skelter” any less amazing.)

Posted in: Paul McCartney Turns 70
#2

Nathan Christensen | Jun 18th Score:34

Here’s my homemade SFW edit. I admit I took some creative liberties.

Posted in: Sigur Rós – “Fjögur Píanó” Video (Feat. Shia LaBeouf) (NSFW)
#1 Rex Manning Day | Jun 20th Score:45

According to NME’s 00s list, “Empire State of Mind” > “Fix Up, Look Sharp”.

According to this list, “Fix Up, Look Sharp” > every Beatles song.

Therefore, “Empire State of Mind” > every Beatles song.

Lists are weird.

Posted in: NME’s 20 Greatest Tracks Of The Past 60 Years

THIS WEEK’S 5 LOWEST RATED COMMENTS

#5 yoko_oh_no | Jun 19th Score:-10

From the couple of samples up there this seems pretty good, but really: how could Fiona Apple not be album of the week?

Posted in: Album Of The Week: Neneh Cherry & The Thing The Cherry Thing
#4 iheartblondie | Jun 19th Score:-11

Wow, this is a really intelligent and informative response by Lowery. If I were the girl, Emily White, I’d be so embarassed right now. I actually read her article when NPR first posted it…what a douchebag she is.

Posted in: David Lowery Blasts NPR Intern On File-Sharing
#3

Kevin Oakley | Jun 19th Score:-13

He’s someone who makes money from selling music, so of course he would take issue with and write a long diatribe against music sharing. But just like every other musician who wines about this, If making music wasn’t his career, he wouldn’t give two shits at all.

Posted in: David Lowery Blasts NPR Intern On File-Sharing
#2 Ass-Kicked89 | Jun 18th Score:-14

Fifty Shades of Gay (I couldn’t resist)! If my impression of Iceland was based solely on the visual art of Bjork and Sigur Ros, I would probably keep my distance as they and their collaborators do a wonderful job at getting under my skin.

Posted in: Sigur Rós – “Fjögur Píanó” Video (Feat. Shia LaBeouf) (NSFW)
#1

Pine Straw | Jun 21st Score:-15

Translation: “Hi I’m Ben Gibbard from Death Cab for Cutie. I couldn’t stay married to a woman so I’m hoping you’ll change the laws and I can try it with a man.”

Posted in: Watch Ben Gibbard’s Marriage Equality PSA

THIS WEEK’S EDITOR’S CHOICE (SCOTT)

Danny Devereauxx | Jun 15th Score:11

honestly thought these were japandroid lyrics

Posted in: Let’s Shortlist The Indie Song Of The Summer 2012

THIS WEEK’S EDITOR’S CHOICE (AMRIT)

Matt Wranovics | 2:05am Score:1

this is the trippiest Backstreet Boys song i’ve ever heard.

oh, and i mean that in a good way.

Posted in: Yeasayer – “Longevity”
 
Comments (121)
  1. In regards to my lowest-rated comment: I am ashamed and disgusted with myself.

    In regards to my highest-rated comment: I am ashamed and disgusted with myself.

    (Guess that’s what I deserve for skipping past the preamble like normal, my comment looked ridiculous when I read it the next day.)

    • You could have done much worst like painting yourself as a bigot by trying to be clever while forgetting the fact that you aren’t very good with puns, sarcasm, or irony…guilty as charged.

  2. I’d like to give an honorary mention to Nick’s “Where’s NME’s list of the 100 best NME lists of the last 6 months?” That one made me literalol.

  3. Cool.. I get the same amount of upvotes as Kyle Webb, but I’m the one who gets left off the list..

  4. this is like the changing of the guard up in here. man,

    - papa tilla.

    • I can barely understand what is going on with all these new faces. I think I need a djfreshie analogy to help me comprehend.

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        • That’s an awfully patronsing way of admitting that nobody likes you anymore.

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          • Heaven didn’t want me, so I was sent off to Hell, which apparently is the Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best and Worst Comments section of Stereogum.

          • Y’all are dumbah. I posted very encouraging, level-headed, helpful things when Michael_ was having… excuse me… began his breakdown. I was genuinely concerned for the guy BECAUSE I’ve dealt with suicide IN MY FAMILY. He mentioned suicide and it freaked me out. But now he’s doing the same thing, which is bullshit. He just wants attention, so I gave him some.

      • It’s like when you have a closet of old hats you love and one day you open the closet and the old hats are all still in there, but in front of those old hats are a bunch of new hats you didn’t buy but they’re fine hats and you wear them too, but where are the old hats, oh there they are. In the back.

        • I’m not worried. A year from now, commenters will be citing users such as djfreshié, donnytilla, plb102, Raptor Jesus and Michael_ as stylistic influences (being sure to note that they were definitely into Michael_’s pre-Coachella ’12 era but found his material afterword to be a challenging departure and polarizing.)

          • The fact that I’ve risen to a top 5 regular shows transition as well. I’ve only been regularly commenting for about six months. Several commenters must have stepped aside.

            Is El Dave still around? He came out of nowhere, commented a ton, and I haven’t seen him in a few weeks.

            M_, you’ve been saying you are going to stop commenting on here forever now, I’m not buying it. Not being able to comment during the day would kind of ruin it tho. I’m actually going to be transitioning jobs in January and it might make it tough for me to contribute as well.

            D-Fresh, Thank you and well done

            D-Tilla, you complete me

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          • Can someone please feel bad for Michael_? It seems I can’t muster up the energy…

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          • “Can someone please nail my hand onto this crucifix? I would do it with my other hand but I nailed it to the crucifix.” – Michael_

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          • At this point, I don’t think it’s about upvotes anymore. I think a lot of people are tired of hearing the same sob story from you every week.

            Just my two cents.

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          • We’re talking about it now because you brought up. If you would stop bringing it up, no one would talk about it. I’m sure you think I’m just piling on and maybe it seems that way, but I honestly have no intentions to take a free shot at Michael_ – you’ve taken enough of those already. What happened to you sucks. It really does. I know what it’s like to put a lot of time and effort into something and then have it thrown back in my face. It’s a bad feeling. All I’m trying to say is the only person who continually makes it a talking point is you. If you’d stop bringing it up, everyone will just forget about it and no one will mention it again. I know that won’t take the sour taste out of your mouth, but at least it wouldn’t be get thrown back in your face anymore.

            Obviously, you’re still very upset about the whole thing. Why else would you start posting someone’s facebook pictures for making a similar point to mine (albeit, in a much snarkier tone, as we ‘Gummers are wont to do)? And I would never ask anyone to stop feeling angry or hurt by something, because that would be a very dismissive thing to do. What I’m suggesting is maybe, for the purposes of comment boards, try to turn the page.

          • Oh man. I was not expecting that. That’s not creepy at all.

            If I may be allowed to contextualize these… The third one is from my freshman year of high school. My shitty pop punk band had a schtick of looking ridiculous. I added it to Facebook recently to make fun of myself.

            The second one… well I can’t really justify that. I look like a pedophile.

            The top image… who in fucks name doesn’t want to be a cowboy?

            So… one from freshmen year and two of facial hair experimentation. Maybe I look like a douche all the time, who’s to say? You’re opinion is probably swayed by the fact that I sent a douchey comment in your direction, for which I do apologize. It was petty.

            But thanks for giving me the opportunity to introduce myself a little more to the stereogum community, Michael_! Some other fun facts about myself are I have puffy nipples and I never take a shit without my trusty laptop. Ladies?

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          • Also, how did you get those? My profile is set to private.

          • Eh, who cares. This is the best thing to ever happen to me.

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          • I cannot BELIEVE you missed this one

          • So, um, how about Beach House not getting nominated for song of the summer? That was weird.

            ^(Noob who has no idea what all of this is about trying to change the subject)

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          • that was kinda mean, Mikey

          • what the fuck

          • You’re at the top of this thread, donnytilla. I blame you.

          • So anyhow, I just got back from Fiona Apple and holy eff — Fiona Apple is like the females’ equivalent to going to a hardcore show. Not to mention, I think I was the only dude who wasn’t forced by his girlfriend to be there.

          • It’s 10:15pm my time, I go online and check Shut up Dude, and notice there are about 35 more comments then last time I looked. Instantly knew Michael_ went HAM.

          • It’s 11:30 my time and I just went through plb102′s entire Instagram profile. Now I never have to visit Chicago or attend a Das Racist show.

          • No pictures of myself though ;)

          • oh and thanks for not liking any pictures, dick

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          • Oh and for its worth, your underscored kick ball has been offering up a crutch to this site for the past 7 years back when some dude named “jim” was writing the posts:

            http://stereogum.com/2010/new_sun_kil_moon_ocean_breathes_salty/news/

            Have fun pissing on his grave.

          • mike your behaviour is concerning. The way you search through people’s internet lives and then feel the need to post back here in order to inform them that you have done so is not healthy. Furthermore, your claims of others bringing you down and running your name through the mud are a little hard to be empathetic toward when you engage is some of the most hostile character assassination possible by posting pics of another user that you hope to embarrass. It’s unfair and it’s mean.

            The claim that you have held up this site for many years is ridiculous hyperbole. Most, if not all, of the articles on this site are readily available on any other – obviously pitchfork. The move toward more personal opinion pieces was smart and, when you were given the opportunity to be included in this process, you sort of self sabotaged. I’ve been trying to support you during this never-ending difficult time and I’ve seen you make attempts at change but for some reason there is always this backslide to where we currently are. Change your name, start a new profile, and let the good times roll again, because this isn’t working and I can’t imagine it’s been easy for you either.

          • <3 always,
            - big don titty

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          • I’m not the best at determining what’s real and what’s schtick in these comments, but Michael_ if you really get that bent out of shape over downvotes and negative replies you need to take a few deep breaths, maybe count backwards from ten, and think about whether it’s worth it. Becoming so upset by what strangers are saying to you on Stereogum is the most extreme example of “butt hurt” I’ve ever seen. Whether anyone agrees with you about being pissed with the RJ guest post, no one can tell you how you should or do feel, but I promise you that legitimately getting mad over long periods of time b/c of this comment section is silly.

            BTW if anyone doesn’t want pictures of yourself copied here you probably shouldn’t have ur gum profile linked to facebook. JUST sayin

          • One of the most interesting things about all of this is the reality that if we were all physically present in the same room, this kind of drawn-out drama – espcially ones that include multiple personalities (profile names) – wouldn’t exist.

            For anyone that was wondering if the internet is real life, treat this like a mini case study. It’s a little slice of social graffiti and brought a marker to the bathroom stall.

          • I mean… my initial comment was not really informed by your past drama. My intention was not to jump on any so-called bandwagon. I was really responding to what you had said in this thread. There have been instances where people on Stereogum have called me on my own bullshit in a humorous way and we had a laugh, upvotes all around, and we move on. I didn’t take into account that you might be a little more sensitive because of the mean spirited things people have already said to you in weeks past… so I’ve apologized once and I’ll apologize again. But I think it’s a two-way street in a way… if you don’t want your unhealed wounds to be poked at, maybe it’s not a good idea to keep presenting them.

            You have a lot of thoughtful comments and they don’t go unnoticed. I think the main commenters here are all willing to move on WITH you. But you seem to want to move on DESPITE them.

            I know I’m new here (longtime reader though), and I feel uneasy contributing to this, and I know it’s not really my place. Another reason I’m sorry.

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          • Fuck them, Rubberjohnny is my one and only influence, he’s the Tyler of Stereogum.

          • Michael_, theduchessofthomyorke, whoever — I feel like everything that can be said about yr recent commenting behaviour has been said / continues to be said every week, and, although quite interesting from an objective point of view, I’ve gotta be honest that I am kind of sick of wading through scores of neurotic comments every time I scroll down to the comment section. It makes Stereogum a lot less fun, and it makes me want to comment less, as I just want to stay out of it and not get involved in the ongoing drama you seem to want to continually provoke. I don’t think any of the regulars here have been unsupportive of you, and many have been openly sympathetic. I for one read yr blog and appreciate some of the tips you give Stereogum for slightly harder music. But I don’t understand what you want? Stereogum always credits your tips. I think you feel like you’re not getting enough recognition, but honestly, you are by far and away the most recognised Stereogum commenter, for reasons both good and bad. Just calm down, you don’t have to be the centre of attention all the time. And you’re making the site less enjoyable my attempting to become it.

            I think the title SHUT UP, DUDE! is quite ironic in hindsight. Whilst a feature like this is completely necessary, if not essential, to build a more engaged commenter community, I feel it has also made the comments section more like some kind of competition, when really I would just like to talk about music. Michael_, I know you have made similar complaints in the past, but I think perhaps you are now contributing to the problem more than anything.

            Hello everyone else too.

          • I know I was kind of part of the problem this week, but can we agree not to go down this road ever again? You all can do whatever you want, but I’m not taking the bait anymore.

          • Hey guys, I was pretty indisposed this weekend what’s new? Anyone catch The Newsroom? Boy what a piece of..oh…oh god…

          • It would be amazing if you snatch all 5 worst comments this week

          • There is no reason the number of upvotes accompanying my snide comment that started this fiasco should be approaching that of djfreshiè’s erudite analogy. Let us use those buttons responsibly.

          • I thought your snide comment was hilarious and I IRL LOLed.

            Whatever, I don’t really want to chime in on this nonsense, especially 10 years after the fact, but being snarky with regards to other fairly anonymous people’s comments is FAIR GAME. If it’s done in jest without being a personal attack, that is totally acceptable. That’s the contract you sign up for when you create a username, type some stuff, and his submit comment.

            The contract nobody signs up for is having anyone else post, unsolicited, a picture of you that isn’t your avatar. That is a very uncool, very inappropriate, pretty creepy response. I’ve had three or four people post a link to my website (thought I do link it on my userpage anyways, so whatever, my bad) along with snide commentary about my music, because I disagreed with their opinion. That is weak stuff right there. So I know how creepy it feels.

          • I’M TOTALLY CREEPED OUT, MAN.

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          • I can’t stress enough how little luck has to do with this reaction, but whatever, there goes my last ounce of empathy anyways.

          • michael… joking about killing yourself on the internet isnt funny. You dont really know any of these people youre talking to and they dont know you, just turn off the computer and listen to some beach boys or whatever the hell makes you happy and then maybe talk to someone in real life so you realize how meaningless your internet reputation is.

          • Okay, I will turn the page and try to clean this up as best as I can, because out of context and not being serious, I realize I make no sense and am being very juvenile and annoying. Right now, I am being serious and honest, which is something I’ve tended to shy away from lately out of fear, but believe it or not, I’m very reasonable.

            Firstly, this isn’t a pity post or a sob story, so do not think I want you to feel sorry for me. What I am about to share with you is my recent life story, how my blog came to be and how being part of this here community gets me through my day. I think some of you might be able to relate, and if you can’t, at least keep an open mind before you pounce on me.

            As most of you are well aware, the current economic climate of our nation is in the shitter. It went there in 2008 and hasn’t really managed to pull itself out of the waste water since. A lot of us were affected by it regardless of profession, and in 2009, I lost my pretty cool job out in the city along with about half of the company I was with. Cool life plans got put on hold, I did my best to stay put in the city, but 2009 and 2010 were perhaps the roughest waters to tread as far as the unemployment rat race went. In the meantime, a blog was birthed to keep my head busy, skills in tact and that I was still contributing something to the world, but even after a solid year of job hunting, nothing came about. I reluctantly moved back “home” to suburbia for a somewhat promising position that ultimately ended up falling through due to financial constraints, and — with my back against the wall — took another role elsewhere still using my skills, but couldn’t be any worse of a fit office environment and fulfillment-wise (but I at least have a job, yes.)

            The struggle with moving back to the place you never thought you’d return is waking up and always wanting to leave and not living the life you want to live. My friends have left in all directions away from here, and my current two best friends go by the names of “Mom” and “Dad.” Despite what we have for social media these days, I’ve only found myself becoming distanced from everyone who knows me best because of my location and because their lives are generally more fun (so who needs to call Michael, right?) To fill the many voids in my daily life, I do a few things: I write a music blog, I contribute my voice here and I burn through a ton of calories.

            Along with my blog, being part of the ‘Gum community has helped me reconnect with the type of world I want be in again. It’s probably stupid to you, but when a band re-tweets a post I just wrote about them, it makes me feel like I’ve actually contributed something that means something. The same goes for tipping news here or just finding common ground with all of you in the comments. If it weren’t for these two outlets, I would feel stuck in my own head all day (Unfortunately, daily Stereogum commenting has kind of been minimalized in recent months because my office is techno-phobic and killed off 90% of the Internet that can be seen.)

            On everything since Coachella: My reaction to Coachella-gate here on Stereogum has really lost all meaning as time goes by, but I hope the above background kind of paints a better portrait as to why that opportunity was important to me. I’m somewhat obsessively in the hunt for a better fit elsewhere so I can finally move on with my life and stop being “stuck,” and I don’t know why I had it in my head that the guest post was going to solve everything, but I did. Stereogum didn’t owe me anything or promise me that I was the exclusive guest post, but my current life frustration / disappointment got the better of me and I felt like I had been undercut by them by having to share some of the spotlight with Raptor Jesus. As you’re all probably aware, I had my post removed because after all the drama, it represented something of no worth anymore. I regret even saying something in the first place, and when I dwell on it here, it’s really just me redirecting anger I have at myself unfairly toward all of you. It was a mistake to react badly.

            I’m very much my own worst critic, which can sometimes help when you’re pushing yourself to improve, but can also make you beat yourself up over things you can’t always control. I’ve been beating myself up a lot lately because I imagined my life to be different right now, and I feel kind of alone in it all. First world problems, I know, I know…

            At this moment, I’d like to apologize to Nathan Christensen and djfreshie for being more fun than I am right now. Likewise goes to the rest of you who’ve trudged through my unpretty words and rants here, and the Stereogum staff who I guarantee things that I have a few loose screws in my head (but I promise you that I’m very much grounded and if anything, am merely guilty of having aspirations.)

            I do need all of you, however, to help get me through the days. The day I actually am able to move on from Stereogum will be the best day ever, because I think that will be the day where I’ve finally found some form of fulfilling happiness again in my life.

          • Atta boy Michael_!

            We all knew the reasonable you was still around.

            You’re a great writer (“you only get what others agree not to withhold from you” – nicely poetic line, bro), which forces me to hope that things work out for you and your blog/writing in general.
            Sounds like you’re in a shitty place right now due to some seriously bad luck and lack of options. You’re a complete stranger to me, but I empathize and hope your life improves soon.

          • and here’s a plug for your blog:

            y’all should read Mikey’s blog at awkwardsound.com, it’s pretty good.

          • I have to be honest Micha, I was quite concerned earlier tonight that you might have killed yourself, and ran through several horrific aftermath scenarios in my mind. So, I checked back here to see if you had reposted and I’m really pleased to hear that you are not dead. Very pleased. Also, I am pleased at this fresh breath of air you just breath-ed, like the coo of a lover on my neck burns. No more of the off-ing talk, because it upsets my tum tum and gives me diarrhea. Also, the fact I actually thought about it off and on for a couple of hours tells you that maybe you need to reconsider how people around here ACTUALLY view you. because if I thought you were the devil’s dick, I would have been ilke “he probably didn’t do it …. BUT WHAT IF HE DID?” so i would have had the same reaction either way because I’m a humanist but that doesn’t lessen my reaction tonight in any way.

            “beeee goooooood” – E.T.

            “no more diarrhea” – D.T.

          • Thanks for the response Mike, dont beat yourself up too much though. I can understand how important an online community can be to a person, especially if they’re in an unfortunate situation. I dont believe it to be pathetic or whatever to be so involved in an online website because everyone finds significance in different ways and it honestly isnt mine or anyones place to judge. I use this website because I find my school group of friends dont but as much of a value on music in their lives as I do and I feel like the people on this website do value music as an integral part of their lives. Thats the significance that stereogum plays in my life and I’m sure other people view this website for their own personal reasons. Thanks for expressing your perspective though, sometimes I forget that their are actual people behind these usernames.

          • U guys r fags

          • Michael, I was in a similar place in life as you a couple of years ago. I don’t know you (either IRL, obviously, or on here, since I’m newish), but I know how it feels, so you have my sympathy.

            I wish I could offer you some profound words of wisdom or consolation, but all I can think of is a slightly more nuanced, realistic version of the glib, cliche “hang in there; it gets better”: hang in there; it *could* get better (nothing’s guaranteed, of course).

            It did for me. I was miserable then; I’m happy now—much, much happier than I would have conceived to be possible for me when I was going through what you’re going through (mutatis mutandis).

            It was a long, strange and twisting road from there to here, and it would take way too many words to even summarize the details, and they don’t really matter for the purposes of this post anyway, since they are specific to the peculiar contours of my life, personality, problems, desires, etc.—but in a nutshell, and over simplifying a little (but just a little), I wasn’t rescued by some sort of big, external breakthrough or achievement, and as long as you keep pinning your hopes on one of those, you’re fucked, IMO; the main thing that happened to me occurred inside my head.

            Basically, I just stopped giving a shit—about what I achieved, what I was doing (or not doing) with my talents and life, what my status was in the world, how I measured up to this or that notion of what I should be, etc. In light of the fact that everything is ultimately meaningless (including the fact that it’s meaningless) and that the only arbitrator of what is important in my life is myself, I realized that I couldn’t come up with a single rational justification for caring about any of that crap, and I stopped judging myself by it.

            Ironically (in the improper sense of the word, but fuck it), I’ve “accomplished” a lot since then—but I don’t think I would have done so if I’d kept caring about accomplishing shit in the first place. That was the single most liberating event of my life so far, and I hope it happens to you too.

            But it’s not something that someone can just will on command (let alone in response to some random-to-you person’s post on a comments board), so I don’t expect you to do so; it’s a mindset that comes into shape over time, gradually pushed into place by all your experiences, emotions, thoughts, etc. playing themselves out. For me, part of it (and just one of thousands of parts) was reading a passage in a novel that resonated with me; something about it pushed me a little more in that direction. Although they’re way less elegant, I hope these words will do something similar for you, at least a little.

          • and on a side note I just spent like half an hour on your blog and it’s definetly one of the better ones out there.

          • No need to apologize. I can relate to what you’re feeling. Hang in there, buddy. I think you have a lot of people rooting for you.

          • <3 to all of you.

          • I’ll be the latest to recommend Michael_’s blog. Definitely worth a read.

          • “The day I actually am able to move on from Stereogum will be the best day ever, because I think that will be the day where I’ve finally found some form of fulfilling happiness again in my life.”

            When I read this I can’t help but picture Michael_ finding happiness sometime in the future and all the avatars from the S-Gum comment section come to life, lined up waving goodbye and wishing him luck as he walks into the sunset.

          • And just before the credits roll, rubberjohnny appears on a distant hilltop, points down at everyone and cries out:

            “hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooossssssssssss!!!!!!!!!”

          • I would DEFINITELY be friends with my avatar.
            Bro’s got sick flow.

          • mmmmmmmoooooooooooooooooooooooooooosssssssssssssssssssssss!”

          • ^That was just a well-executed post right there.

            I give up.

          • Thanks for sharing, Michael_. And I’m glad this whole thing came to a decent resolution. I was getting pretty worried for the same reasons stated by others. I had a friend in high school who grew increasingly detached from all of us as we got older. He became so engrossed in conspiracy theories that he moved to Thailand to teach. And I heard recently that he had grown disillusioned with that job and started wrangling exotic reptiles (yes, almost exactly like the last Rambo movie).

            I guess what I’m saying is I’m glad you didn’t move to Thailand(?)

            Onward and Upward

            Good posts end with great quotes so:

            “Be ease and have some of these <3 <3 <3…" -Donny "Tell'em" Tilla

          • Remember when there was only one set of footprints?

            THAT’S WHEN I WAS CARRYING YOU.

          • you degeled my heart again, you beautiful man.

          • You degel our hearts every week, Mr. T. Just returning the favor.

          • This is the longest group therapyconversation I’ve ever had with complete strangers

          • ” just turn off the computer and listen to some beach boys” – Doc Spennyb’s cure for everything

          • haha ya well it can’t hurt

          • “just turn off the computer and listen to some beach boys” – The true meaning of life.

  5. Sun Ra wasn’t lying when he sang “Dreams Come True.”

  6. I”m back…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

    …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………..
    …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    ………………………………………………………………..
    ……………………..
    …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

  7. This is not only a victory for Estonia, it is one for dwarves all over the world too. Thank you.

  8. I intend to steal Jack Braunstein’s dog

  9. So, I brought this up as kind of a joke, but now I really want to talk about the omission of Beach House from the song of the summer ballot.

    I don’t get why Best Coast got on it and Beach House didn’t. Best Coast – The Only Place got 3 posts and 4 upvotes on the nominating thread. Beach House got 4 posts, and Lazuli got over 10 (arguably 17) upvotes.

    (They’re hard to count because some of the posts mentioned other songs, but two of them, which got 5 upvotes each, were unambiguously nominating Lazuli.)

    Wild got more love than The Only Place too, although the main post for it was from someone who first nominated another song.

    And yeah, I have way too much time on my hands. And no, I don’t think this is really that important, but still…

    • To be fair, one of those posts for Beach House was from a moron* who spelled Lazuli as Lazuii, so maybe the staff didn’t see it if they were control+f searching the thread by song names.

      (*Some guy named dbr)

      • But that wasn’t one of the posts with 5 upvotes, so my case still stands.

        One last thing, and then I’ll shut up: some other songs that weren’t included got a lot more upvotes than Best Coast too. So basically, Best Coast on the ballot = the scandal of the century, and I am OUTRAGED (except for the fact that not really).

  10. What ever happened to Rubber Johnny? I miss that guy…

    • Just don’t say his name two more times, or he’ll return.

      • The whole thing is just confusing now. There’s, what, three accounts claiming to be the John? Whoever made the fake RubJohn account(s) ruined that whole thing for me. Knowing those posts are coming from a person trying to piss people off rather than someone who, by nature, just pisses people off takes the fun out of it.

    • Don’t worry, babe, I can be your RubberJohnny. Let’s go find ourselves a quiet place where we can listen to Goblin without these fagg0ts.

      • Am I the only one who started singing Enrique Iglesias in my head when reading this?

        I can be your Rubberjohnny baby
        I can homophobic slur away the pain
        And I will stand by ODD FUTURE WOLF GANG KILL THEM ALL forever!
        You can’t take, my Earl away…

  11. Stereogum le prohibió hace unas semanas, pero esta noticia no fue compartida públicamente por razones obvias.

    • Stereogum prohibits made/did some weeks, but is noticed not went compartment publicly for obvious reasons…

      My A in Spanish hath served me well…

  12. Who needs music? I get all the entertainment I’ll ever need from the comments section. Can we have a new website called CommentGum where we all just yell at each other? I’d be the first to join up. Maybe then I could finally get some recognition for my bad puns and old jokes…

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