Everybody Hurts

PRS for Music, a UK music licensing organization, conducted a survey of what songs make grown British men cry. The 1,757 respondents chose R.E.M.’s “Everybody Hurts” as the top song. There are a couple of other artists on here (Robbie Williams) that lets you know that the survey is British, and the fact that all but one of the songs are sung by men lets you know the gender of the participants. Read ’em and weep:

01 R.E.M. “Everybody Hurts”
02 Eric Clapton “Tears in Heaven”
03 Leonard Cohen “Hallelujah”
04 Sinead O’Connor “Nothing Compares 2 U”
05 U2 “With or Without You”
06 The Verve “Drugs Don’t Work”
07 Elton John “Candle In The Wind”
08 Bruce Springsteen “Streets of Philadelphia”
09 Todd Duncan “Unchained Melody”
10 Robbie Williams “Angels”

Some glaring omissions here. Number one obviously should be mixtapes they made and mixtapes people made for them, followed closely by Hefner’s “Hymn For The Alcohol”:

… followed by Gilbert O’Sullivan’s “Alone Again (Naturally)”:

… and Blur’s “Tender”:

Are you totally crying now? Here’s a little palate/eye-cleanser:

Comments (49)
  1. Bush – “Glycerine”. Duh!

  2. Prince – “Sometime’s It Snows in April”. It’s definitive.

  3. Jesus that’s a pathetic list. I could see Losing My Religion…..Everybody Hurts? Pathetic. Obvious. Unoriginal. Real men cry to either ‘Hurt’ or ‘Under the Bridge’.

  4. BIG STAR holocaust+kangaroo shit makes me cry every day of my life

  5. The list of songs that makes me cry is far too long to memorialize here, but for my money, the most tear-inducing R.E.M. song has got to be “You Are the Everything.”

    Even typing those words I get a bloom of teenage sorrow in my spine.

    • Mans, I am so with you on this. I can even still remember a specific day in 8th grade during which some “friend” did something awful involving a note possibly…well that part’s not important, but to feel better I sang this song to myself. In science class (under my breath of course). It didn’t work, I only got more sad.

      I used to be so cool.

      • Yeah, my “You Are the Everything” story (TM) involves my senior prom an is far too long of a story to narrate here, but rest assured, it is a sad story that does not end well for anyone.

    • I did not cry when my father was hung for stealing a pig, but I will cry now.

  6. Where’s The Streets – “Dry your eyes”? Sad fucking song.

  7. I’m sorry, but Tender is not the Blur song that gets the men folk crying. Everyone knows its No Distance Left To Run.

  8. Also, there are a few Built To Spill songs that get me pretty choked up. Either “Velvet Waltz” or “Temporary Blind” usually do it.

  9. I nominate almost every song on Radiohead’s The Bends, though if I had to pick one song from that it would definitely be “Bulletproof (wish I was).”
    And maybe Cat Power’s Moon Pix album never made me cry, but I think we can all agree that her rendition of “Moonshiner” is particularly depressing, y/y?

  10. LOL@ Robbie Williams’ Angels hahahah

    also Sinead o’connor’s “nothing compares 2 u” is actually a cover of a song by prince and the revolution, which makes this list even gayer (in the best of ways!!)

    go men crying!

  11. I’ve never cried at a song because I’m a soulless indifferent automaton, but Space Oddity makes me feel very empty, cathartic and euphoric at the same time. That’s my choice for a sad song for assholes like me who can’t cry but wish they would.

  12. I’m a sad-sap American-male so I feel the need to share my favorite melodramatic songs with which I occasionally indulge in some self-pity:

    -Grandaddy: “Jed’s Other Poem (Beautiful Ground)”
    -TV On The Radio: “Ambulance”
    -Bright Eyes: “Something Vague”
    -Elliot Smith: “Needle in the Hay”
    -Blur: “Sing”
    -Scout Niblet: “Kiss”

    Nothing on the survey’s list really gets to me except for “Hallelujah.”

  13. I can’t believe The Cure hasn’t been mentioned yet!

    I spent many a teenage night wallowing to this in particular -

  14. anything by nickelback brings me to tears….

  15. liyxam1  |   Posted on Oct 5th, 2010 +5

    Hurt by johnny cash. say no more. if you dont cry to this you are not alive. or a robot. or a desk. or lamp.

  16. Not British, but…..

    -Xiu Xiu’s “The Pineapple VS The Watermelon” and “Save Me Save Me” in sequence
    on The Air Force album, almost always start the waterworks flowing. That whole
    album is devastatingly beautiful……..a true work of art.
    -The Decemberists’ “The Bagman’s Gambit” tends to make me feel a bit wistful/defiant
    at the thought of you and your true love against the entire world/all that could stand
    against you.
    -Not really a big Phish fan, but “Dirt” is a tearful favorite and always seems like it would
    be a perfect fit at a funeral.
    -While all of his other songs are a guarantee for having a good time, Devendra Banhart’s
    “I Remember” off of Smokey Rolls Down Thunder Canyon, is so very tragic and nearly always
    brings me to tears.
    -Tom Waits has so many beautiful ballads. Both “All The World Is Green” and “The Part
    You Throw Away”, on the Blood Money album, instantly make me feel melancholy/nostalgic.

  17. oh, yeah……can’t forget Cat Power’s “The Greatest” and T. Rex’s “Cosmic Dancer”.

  18. mark kozelek always gets me. katy song, gentle moon, have you forgotten… that’s some top-notch sad sack music right there.

    other tearjerkers that i’m slightly ashamed to admit to:
    pictures of you – the cure
    satisfied mind – jeff buckley (largely due to the knowledge that it was played at his funeral)
    and if we’re going british, richard hawley can be a pretty good pity-fest.

  19. These bands have already been mentioned, but these are the songs I’d go with by them:

    Bright Eyes-”Nothing Gets Crossed Out”
    Radiohead-”Motion Picture Soundtrack
    Elliott Smith-”Waltz #1″

  20. Purple Rain – Prince

  21. Philadelphia by Neil Young is a far sadder song than Springsteen’s Streets of Philadelphia. In fact, when Springsteen won the Grammy, he said that Neil should have been up on stage, not him:

  22. “Let’s Just Have Another Drink” – Johnny Duhan
    “Rules” – Ashtray Hearts

  23. blur’s ‘no distance left to run’ is a definite song to cry to

  24. “Why” by Annie Lennox. Come now, that’s one to ruin your day.

  25. Baby Birch – Joanna Newsom makes me :( :(

  26. ahh what the heck, i’ll throw up some of my drinking-alone-pity fest songs:

    Springsteen – “The River/Independence Day” or all of the Nebraska album.
    Cash – “Hurt”
    Bright Eyes – “Poison Oak”
    Joe Purdy – “Why Do I?”
    Death Cab – “What Sarah Said” into “Brothers on a Hotel Bed” that’s always a downer.
    Right Away, Great Captain! – I’m Not Ready to Forgive You

  27. Two Daughters and a Beautiful Wife by Drive-By Truckers *sniff*

  28. katy song, gentle moon, have you forgotten… that’s some top-notch sad sack music right there.
    ogame oyun oyna
    film izle

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