Blogging The Tsunami Relief Show

Hi. I am taking over Stereogum. I’m not Scott. I am, however, his evil twin, Johnny Tsunami. Because Scott is stupid enough to give me his log-in info, I’m going to blog this shit REAL TIME.

So, are you guys watching Trio right now? Or, say, any NBC affiliate in the world? ‘Cause the Tsunami Relief Show is banging, yo.

No, but seriously: Renee Zelly looked earnest, Drew Barrymore looked sober, Roger Waters is still totally and completely alive, and James Woods makes me want to cry. Holy shit, did you guys know Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman are still together? At least for Red Cross promotional purposes.

Okay, I don’t listen to country music. Who the hell is this bald dude singing? Is it Toby Keith? I bet it’s not, but I wish it were Toby. He’d sing about America sticking its big ol’ boot in the tsunami’s butt.

Eric McCormack: not really gay. Actually, he might be, as he seemed a bit excited about Annie Lennox getting ready in London. Also, a special thanks to Poker Stars Dot Net.

Everyone loves Raymond Romano, but no one loves a tsunami.

Annie Lennox is breaking glass, dropping the debt, and looking surprisingly good. She’s left the MAC makeup behind and she’s managing hideous green backlighting surprisingly well. And when they cut to David Spade, he looks like he’s going to cry. And as much as I love this song she’s singing, “Why can’t you see this boat is sinking” doesn’t seem all too appropriate for the circumstances. Insensitive dyke.

OMG OLD PRESIDENTS ARE ON TV! Borrring, bring back Nelly. That dude’s a hitmaker.

So you can’t get through on the TsuRel (that’s short for Tsunami Relief) hotline, and they’re suggesting we go online to make our donations. Which is bullshit, because I’d only call for a chance to talk to Baffleck. I bet if I invited him over, he’d blow rails off of the small of my back, right by my butterfly tattoo.