Michael Lohan: Father Knows Breast

On last night’s Primetime Live, Michael Lohan (father of our favorite shrinking starlet) defended his headline-grabbing spate of drunken arrests and fiery car crashses.

“[Lindsay]’s got more offers than ever now … don’t they say any publicity is good publicity? People don’t want the good things, they want the dirt.”

You know what that family really needs? A reality TV show!

“They have to commit to being on camera … [It] would follow us through the course of our divorce. Everything would be put on hold to begin with while we’re shooting this, in an effort to become a family.”

Michael even says he’ll drop his multi-million dollar lawsuit if he gets his show. “I’m a selfless human being.”