White People Say The Darndest Things

Urban Dictionary lists 144 definitions of the word “crunk.” It means “to get crazy and act a fool” (I got so damn crunk last night, I shot up dat nigga house) or “fucked up or intoxicated in any way” (Let’s get crunk off that syrup), depending on who you talk to.

Of course the term’s been in your vernacular for years. But in this week’s mainstream media, it’s just gotten Out. Of. Hand.

Stephen Malkmus plugs his new album on MTV News.

STEPHEN MALKMUS: I Googled [Face The Truth] and I found that there’s crunk-style hip-hop guys that have a song called “Face the Truth” down in Houston. And that shit’s selling … When Houston-style crunk first came out, it was based on drinking cough syrup and so much codeine. They would do these mixes that were really slow. And the leader of the scene, his body gave out from too much Robitussin or something. And I love that … these over-the-counter cough syrups are influencing music. Instead of marijuana for once, it’s nice.

Cute. Let’s see if Jon Stewart can keep up. From last night’s Daily Show:

ICE CUBE: Do you know what crunk means?
JON STEWART: Do I know what crunk means? You ask me … and it’s Passover no less!

That’s okay Jon. I’m sure Marc Ecko, can define for you

MARC ECKO: You go to Atlanta and crunk means something in completely different than what it means in New York … You go to a real hip-hop club in Atlanta and crunk music is CRUNK!

OK! Even conservative columnist and Lawrence Welk fan James Kilpatrick wants in.

JAMES J. KILPATRICK: It’s a wunnerful word, but what does it mean? I learned from Google that “the lurching beats and bellowed choruses of Southern crunk have become 2004’s defining pop sound.” … In “crunk” we have what appears to be a neologism…

Coming soon: (Killer Mike) Bloomberg christens his West Side stadium Crunk Juice Convention Center … Dirty South Brooklyn’s Jonathan Safron Foer publishes Extremely Loud And Incredibly Crunk … and indie-crunk-yuppie blogs.

Now for your daily MP3…

Lil’ Jon once told USA Today he was the first “to use it in a hook and tell people to ‘get crunk.'” But please don’t give him credit for “YEAAA-UH.” David Byrne’s new Afro-Beat mix reveals where he stole it from.

Sorry Bamba – “Porry”

The whole comp is fantastic. Buy it at Luaka Bop.