Videogum

Thriller Dance Off – Chattanooga Firefighters vs Filipino Prisoners


If there’s one thing the world definitely needs more of, it’s compassion adults spending hours practicing and performing a 27-year-old dance routine in groups of twenty or more. It seems like a VFW hall wedding reception can’t go by these days without everyone and their grandma getting liquored up on Jesus Juice and moving their limp wrists from side-to-side. Today’s dance-off pits a new squad of firefighters against a YouTube classic. But whose Thriller dance is truly off the wall? (Oof.)

Please refresh your knowledge of the old standard:

Wow! That was great! Get busy livin’ or get busy dancin’, amirite? Now to the scoreboard:

A dance crew 1500 strong: +9
1475 dancers tragically underused: -6
Cool matching red outfits: +1
Ola Ray character played by prisoner in drag: +8
Weak cinematography: -3
Men in flip-flops: -10
Positive use of time: +9
Total: 8

And the new zombies in town:

Whoa! Those moves are on fire! Let’s see that five alarm steppin’ stacks up:

Impressive range of motion in full gear: +4
Black AND white represented, much like MJ himself: +7
Chainsaw cameo: +1
Time could be spent learning to better fight fires: -41


This guy: +92

Total: 63


I think we have a winner.