Videogum

Meet Katie: The Worst Little Girl In The World

The more dug-up videos I see, the more convinced I become that the 1980s was the most barbaric, un-self-aware, child-abusy, selfish, downright mean decade in our country’s history. Of course, that can’t actually be true, duh, but even the ’70s had to be better. Further evidence: this how-to video for stage parents called “Getting Your Kids Into Commercials,” in which children are compared to polo ponies who are beaten with sticks, and a little four-year-old girl named “Katie” is held up as the ultimate example of a worthless child. Katie misses her mark and “doesn’t even seem like she wants to be there”. Katie isn’t a commercial natural, so Katie should just go ahead and kill herself:

Of course this kind of thing still goes on, but now we tape it for reality shows like Toddlers And Tiaras and Little Miss Perfect, so we can feel better about ourselves and how far we’ve come. (Via Everything Is Terrible.)