lindsay: So…do you think Kristen Stewart is a bitch?
gabe: i mean, i don’t know anything about kristen stewart
gabe: she’s probably a bitch
lindsay: well, the interview in that video is somewhat representative of the ones I’ve seen
lindsay: and there’s the david letterman one
gabe: i watched the interview with her on letterman
gabe: total bitch
gabe: what, you don’t think she’s a bitch?
lindsay: I think she wasn’t naturally gifted with the ability to not seem like a bitch while being interviewed.
lindsay: But, like, look at, say, Eva Longoria
lindsay: She’s probably a huge bitch.
lindsay: She just knows the skills to hide it
gabe: oh sure, total bitch probably
lindsay: Kristen Stewart comes across like she just doesn’t care.
lindsay: But that doesn’t really mean anything
gabe: i mean, who cares if she’s a bitch?
lindsay: Being good on tv isn’t a common skill
lindsay: I wouldn’t have it!
lindsay: A lot of people care if she’s a bitch, Gabe.
lindsay: A lot of little girls.
gabe: a lot of people care about a lot of things they shouldn’t care about
gabe: especially little girls
gabe: little girls spend over 95 percent of their time caring very hard about things that don’t matter FACT
gabe: (unlike the rest of us adults, who only focus on things that do)
lindsay: so do little boys!
gabe: relax steinem
lindsay: let’s fight about who cares about the most important things: boys or girls
gabe: i watched that interview from MTV
gabe: and it is hilarious
gabe: those poor VJs from MTV are so confused
gabe: like, when they complain that kristen stewart thinks she’s better than them?
gabe: of course she does
gabe: i think she’s better than them
lindsay: But, like George W. Bush, they are blessed with the conviction that they are right.
gabe: and i don’t even care bout her
gabe: everyone is better than them
lindsay: She IS better than them
gabe: they hate her face? HAVE THEY LOOKED AT THEIR OWN FACES LATELY?
gabe: that one guy with his stupid drive through headset
lindsay: I know, maybe it’s some sort of thing where they’re big in Canada, but they are so entitled
lindsay: “Everyone loves us!”
gabe: and his self-righteous indignation about the hard work of interviewing teenagers
lindsay: a commenter said that that guy is Eugene Levy’s son
lindsay: I can’t believe that
lindsay: I can’t even google that.
lindsay: So everyone knows and agrees
lindsay: that part of an actor’s job is to promote their movie or whatever
gabe: kind of
gabe: i think that’s half true
lindsay: and I think most people would agree that Kristen Stewart isn’t getting an A in that part of her job
gabe: i mean, whenever someone gets famous enough that they refuse to do press junkets anymore
gabe: everyone acts like it’s a breath of honest fresh air
gabe: i think there’s a lot of room on this one
gabe: i think the problem is less that stewart isn’t doing her job well
gabe: as that she isn’t not doing her job well well
gabe: like, she does seem petulant and bored and bitchy
gabe: but she doesn’t pull it off in a way that is charming or seems honest
gabe: it jsut seems spoiled
gabe: but if she could master a way to mock the whole process
gabe: while remaining somewhat likable
gabe: she would be a champion
lindsay: I think the first tiime I saw her, I thought that was what she was doing
lindsay: but she doesn’t seem in control
lindsay: Also, celebrities who complain about having to sell their movies are usually big media whores
lindsay: like brad pitt, who said it wasn’t his job right after he sold breastfeeding photos of angie to W.
gabe: i mean, i think complaining about having to promote your movies will never come off well
gabe: movie stars get paid enough to sit in a hotel conference room and answer some repetitive questions for a day
gabe: but i also don’t think they have to act like they like it
gabe: i have no problem with movie stars acting like they don’t like it
gabe: because it looks miserable
gabe: and i don’t care about what they have to say anyway
gabe: so we’re all losing
gabe: i mean, the whole is kristen stewart a bitch or not
gabe: seems like the wrong discussion
gabe: because i think she probably is
gabe: objectively, kristen stewart is probably a bitch
lindsay: Maybe she’s just shy!
gabe: is being a bitch actually a bad thing
lindsay: Every person on earth is a bitch sometimes.
lindsay: I know you haven’t seen Twilight, but she’s kind of a bitch in that, too
lindsay: I guess I don’t really know what I like in a celebrity other than entertaining me
lindsay: so if she can be a bitch and still be entertaining, that’s fine
gabe: i think any level of honesty
gabe: which is rare
gabe: with entertainers
gabe: is what is important
lindsay: But also, celebrities have to convey a sense that they want to be celebrities
lindsay: or else we know they’re lying
lindsay: the easiest thing in the world is to stop acting in movies
lindsay: (I assume)
gabe: haha, yeah
lindsay: And in Kristen Stewart’s case, she hasn’t yet shown a Sean Penn-like dedication to her craft
gabe: but do you think that’s part of the job?
lindsay: I think it’s written into their contracts, yes
gabe: i mean, have you seen the footage of twilight premieres and shit?
gabe: that looks like a fucking nightmare
lindsay: I mean, it is, and they sign them
lindsay: all jobs have parts that aren’t as fun as other parts
gabe: but not all jobs require you to act like you like the part that you don’t like
gabe: people bitch about their jobs all the time
lindsay: Writers (like real writers, not bloggers) have to go on book tours
lindsay: That’s true
gabe: if we really are going to make the full correlation of being a celebrity to having a job as a celebrity
gabe: then why do we begrudge them not having vaseline teeth every day
lindsay: well…I guess I could argue that you can’t slump around an office sighing and groaning and whining
gabe: writers bitch about book tours all the time
lindsay: but I totally always have
gabe: all anyone ever does is bitch
gabe: we live in a world of bitches
lindsay: Obama doesn’t!
gabe: everything’s amazing and nobody’s happy
gabe: don’t play the obama card
lindsay: I’m sure he bitches. He can’t even smoke!
lindsay: I think the real fault here lies with whatever publicist forced Kristen Stewart and that awful chick to meet.
gabe: i mean, no matter how bitchy kristen stewart could possibly ever be
gabe: it would never be as bitchy as that MTV VJ is for complaining about her on international television
gabe: she’s a grown adult!
gabe: and what’s amazing about that whole thing
gabe: is that she, along with the asshole sitting next to her
gabe: totally think of themselves as celebrities
gabe: for hosting The Hills Aftershow or whatever
lindsay: I know!!
gabe: it’s just ))<>((
lindsay: They think everyone loves them
gabe: back and forth forever
lindsay: and agrees with them
lindsay: they have a mandate
lindsay: they’re untouchable
gabe: they think they’re speaking truth to power
gabe: through their wendy’s headsets
gabe: about the insolence of teenagers
gabe: to “professional journalists”
lindsay: Oh! maybe they think they’re comedians?
lindsay: that’s the only explanation I can think of
gabe: SO FUNNY I FORGOT TO LAUGH
gabe: as much as i think celebrities are ridiculous
gabe: and overpaid
gabe: and narcissistic
gabe: and tend towards being horrible
gabe: and deserve little to no pity
gabe: sometimes i think we ask too much of them
lindsay: When we should be asking it of ourselves.
gabe: we are all kristen stewart.