Videogum

The Ballad Of The Drunk Driver Who Drank Wite Out

This video from the security camera of a police department interrogation room has no sound, so I’ll provide narration Bob-Saget-era-AFHV-style, but in writing:

Cop: You’re in big trouble. This is what handcuffs look like. I’ll be right back.
Drunk Driver: Okay.
Drunk Driver: What’s this? Oh, Wite Out. Who even uses Wite Out anymore? La de dah, Wite Out, Wite Out, in my hand..oh well, I guess I’ll drink it. Can’t hurt. (Drinks Wite Out)
Drunk Driver: Shit, now there’s Wite Out all over my mouth. It dries really quickly. (Tries to wipe it off.)
Cop, returns: What the? Did you just fucking drink this fucking Wite Out?
Drunk Driver: Yeah.
Cop: I gotta get some other cops in here.
Cop (to other cops): Look at this guy, he just drank Wite Out. Let’s lead him to another room.
Female Cop: Hahaha. I cannot hide my amusement. That’s gonna be a fun story to tell the other lady cops at lunch.

END.