Actually, Peaches Are Kind Of Scary

Maury Povitch’s bread and butter, People Who Are Afraid Of Ordinary Things, includes the pickle lady and people who are afraid of balloons and cotton balls. Via Mark Lisanti, here’s Sean, the guy who is six feet tall, 270 lbs, and deathly afraid of peaches:

When they show that long shot of the peaches tumbling over each other and then they smash the peaches with disembodied hands, it actually is a little bit scary. There should be a horror movie about deadly ordinary foods and objects, because there are clearly a lot of people out there suffering. (Billy Bob Thornton could do a cameo in a scene where antiques attack.)