Ariana Grande recently broke up with her rapper boyfriend Big Sean, and obviously the media have been harping on the split, as they do. Over the weekend the singer posted something of a missive to Twitter about how she refuses to be defined as Sean’s ex in particular, and more generally addressing the ways that women are pigeonholed by society when it comes to sex and dating. Anyone who is familiar with my writing on at this website and elsewhere knows that I’m a staunch feminist, so this really struck a chord with me. Normally I’d add my own commentary, but in this case I think I’d like to let Ariana do the talking:
Being “empowered” is not the same as being a “bitch.” HAVING SOMETHING TO SAY… is not the same as HAVING A BAD ATTITUDE….
What I meant when I said what I said about not being Sean’s ex is that I’m tired of living in a world where women are mostly referred to as a man’s past, present or future PROPERTY / POSSESSION. I… do not. belong. to anyone. but myself. and neither do you.
I have clearly not been having the boy questions in my interviews lately because I have come to the realization that I have SO. MUCH. MORE. to talk about. I’m currently making the best music I’ve ever made in my life, having the best time of my life on tour with some of the greatest people I’ve ever known. Working my ass off every single day, performing / creating for my babes and getting the chance to meet and hug my babes all over the world every day.
I come from a long bloodline of female activists. My aunt Judy was the first Italian-American female president of the national press club in Washington D.C. I think she would have been proud of me for speaking up about something that has been bothering me personally for so long.
Gloria Steinem published an article in 1969 titled “After Black Power, Women’s Liberation” and 46 years later… we’re still not quite there yet!
If a woman has lots of sex (or any sex for that matter)… she’s a “slut.”
If a man has sex… HE’S. A. STUD. A BOSSSSSS. A KING.
If a woman even talks about sex openly… she is shamed!
But if a man talks or RAPS freely about all the women (or more commonly used “bitches”/”hoes”… how lovely) he’s had… he is regaled.
If a woman is seen with a friend with a penis, there is immediate assumption of romance or sex and she is labeled!!!
If a man is seen with a woman his status is elevated/celebrated. “AWWW SHIIIIT HE SMASHED IT!!!!!”
I know ya’ll already know this but the double standard and misogyny are still ever present. I can’t wait to live in a world where people are not valued by who they’re dating / married to/ attached to, having sex with (or not) seen with… but by their value as an individual.
I want the people reading this to know that they are MORE THAN enough on their own. I want the media to please help me with this!!!!!! Please support each other. I’m saying this after literally 8 years of feeling like I constantly had to have a boy by my side. After being on my own now for a few months I am realizing that’s just not the case… I have never felt more present, grounded, and satisfied. I’ve never laughed harder or had more fun or enjoyed my life more.
One more though… my Honeymoon diaries are my way of sharing absolutely as much as I can with my fans. That is something I have done since day one and never plan on changing. It is a safe environment for me to be myself and share funny, special and personal things with my fans and to laugh about silly things I’ve done/things I’m going through. I don’t plan on monitoring or changing that because there are more eyes on me now than there were before. I love ya’ll with all my heart… you’ve accepted and celebrated me not only as an artist but as a person since day one and nothing will change that or change me.
Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of these tat us quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. She will need her sisterhood.” — Gloria Steinem
Here’s a picture of the original text she tweeted on Sunday:
— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) June 7, 2015