Is That A FireCrotch In Your Bikini Or Are You Just Suffering From Heat Stroke?

The Superficial gives us nightmares…

PART ONE
“Lindsay Lohan attended Jeremy Piven’s birthday on Sunday and felt it necessary to change into no less than three different outfits – two of which were bikinis. I could understand this if it was her own birthday or her wedding or any other event where she was the guest of honor, but this was somebody else’s birthday. Who brings multiple bikinis to a party? What kind of person wakes up in the morning and thinks to themselves maybe they’ll need a spare bikini? I guess the same kind of person who poses for pictures like they’re at a softcore photoshoot even though they’re just hanging out at somebody’s house.

PART TWO
“I wasn’t sure if I should post these or not but I couldn’t justify not putting up pictures of Lindsay Lohan bending over in a bikini. You get pictures of Lindsay Lohan bending over in a bikini in your email and you put them up. Simple as that. You don’t question it. It’d be like waking up in the morning with a Ferrari in your garage and not taking it out for a drive. It just doesn’t make any sense. So without any further ado I present more shots of Lindsay Lohan and her magical day at Jeremy Piven’s birthday party.

Elsewhere, BWE.tv decodes Lohan’s ongoing medical trauma:
?Dehydration? – too much booze.
?Exhaustion? – too much blow.
?Overheating? – too much booze and blow on the beach.