Three Simple Rules For Dating John Mayer

1. ?Be really careful with me on the phone. Distance makes the brain grow more maniacal.?

2. ?Twenty-four-hour phone-sex assistance. If there?s a cute girl in the front row, I?m gonna run offstage and call you.?

3. ?You have to run every single fantasy you?ve ever had through me. You?ll never cheat. You see a cute guy at the gym, I?ll be him. Or we?ll get him. I don?t care.?

Via Rolling Stone, which asks: Which rule did Jessica break?

RELATED WTF: ALIFE made a limited-edition John Mayer shirt? Available only at the Long Island tour stop!