The folks at Flumesday recently ranked the apples that have fallen furthest from some of rock’s most regal trees. One can imagine that the factors for consideration included the height of said tree (to continue this weak metaphor) and the degree of pathos for the apple.
10. Sean Lennon ? At least he didn?t release the most embarrassing Fire album this year.
9. Nelson ? Twin sons of Ricky, possessed of frosty locks, guilty of “After The Rain.” But, along with their father and their grandparents (Ozzie and Harriet), they are the only Guiness Book-certified family to have three generations of #1 hits! And yet they take their rightful place on this list.
8. Nona Gaye ? Daughter of Marvin (a tall tree indeed). She released Love For The Future in ’92 to little success, joined Prince for three years of background singing, and finally found her way as an actress.
7. Jakob Dylan ? Far and away the least terrible to crop up on the list. But do ya remember that tree metaphor?
6. Rockwell ? This kid was born Kennedy Gordy, as in Motown founder Berry Gordy’s son. He had a massive hit in “Somebody’s Watching Me,” which featured Michael Jackson on the hook (now you know that song!). But aside from his Jacko-enhanced tune (which had a stint at #1 on R&B charts), he was gone as quickly as he rose.
5. Kelly Osbourne ? Best known for being Ozzy’s daughter — and covering Madonna. Enough.
4. Carnie Wilson: “Someday somebody’s gonna make you wanna turn around and say goodbye!” That’s as good as Brian Wilson’s daughter’s career got. But go ahead, sing it; it’s still a karaoke killer!
3. Frank Sinatra Jr.: Malcolm S. Forbes, Sr. said it best: “Junior Sure Ain’t Senior!”
2. Lisa Marie Presley: Whatever success she had was bound to be overshadowed by that creepy bout of PDA with MJ at the ’94 MTV VMA.
1. Julian Lennon: Bookended by the children of John. How could it be any other way? Something tell us Sean would’ve voted Julian #1, too.
Still too early to tell whether Cat Stevens’ son makes the cut, but Dweezil and Ahmet have definitely earned a spot. Who else you got?