“Newlyweds Of The Year” No More

Gotta feel for the sad sack that pitched the feature on Pam and Kid in December’s GQ as “Newlyweds Of The Year.” Guess we understand the need to anoint some sort of cutting-edge couple (hardly), but that longevity radar was waaay off, Kid. TMZ’s got the divorce papers Anderson and Rock filed today. It’s over! Seriously, what was the over/under on that union? They almost made four months, which is mind boggling in itself. Anyway, unfortunate title aside, the GQ piece is great for exchanges like this:

GQ: I heard you sang U2?s ?With or Without You? to your new bride.
KID: I wouldn?t do that. That just takes the gay meter right to the end.
PAM: That?s enough with the gay word. That?s not nice.
KID: It?s a new word. All the kids are using it.
PAM: No, they?re not. As long as it?s used in a positive context.

Divorce is never cool, people, but if this means no more of these pics, we’re for it.

Head over to GQ for pearls about their no-curfew policy and fake-IDs-for-the-kids parenting style, and be forever-amazed that those crazy kids didn’t make it last.

While you’re there, and if you enjoyed Lindsay’s letter of truth to the Altman family, you may as well watch the video of her photo shoot with Terry Richardson. Here’s a sample of the interview GQ conducted with someone more clever than Lohan could ever be:

GQ:Can we tell people we?re doing this interview in the men?s room at Yankee Stadium?
FIRECROTCH:Yes. And tell them that we?re dating.

GQ: Does it make you sad that celebrity magazines never write about you?
FIRECROTCH: It does. I really wish they would do more. I?m trying to become friends with all the cool famous people, the ones that go to clubs all the time?try to get into those tabloids a little more.

GQ: Tell me about an average day in the life of Lindsay Lohan.
FIRECROTCH: It starts out with a 5 a.m. hike through Runyon Canyon to watch the sunrise. Then I go outside, and I try to find the paparazzi. I go down to Robertson Boulevard, try and search for them, find them, and bring them food.

GQ: And then what do you do at night?
FIRECROTCH: Well, of course, I?m sitting at the computer all night.

GQ: Have you ever read anything interesting about yourself on the Internet?
FIRECROTCH: No. I wish they?d be clever and make something up for me.

GQ: After computer time, when do you go to bed?
FIRECROTCH: No later than 9:30 p.m.?ever. On a good night, it?s eight fifteen.

After watching that vid, don’t you wanna hang out with Lindsay, just for five minutes? Ya know, just to see if she’s truly nuts?