The Grammys: Five reasons to skip The Simpsons this weekend:
1. The Best New Artist Category
Yes, we know they fuck this up every year, and yes, we know that no legitimate indie artist will ever get within sniffing distance of a nomination (unless we count Tone Loc), but how can you not love the sheer ridiculousness of a ?category? in which Billy Ray Cyrus can go head-to-head with Kriss Kross, Sophie B. Hawkins, and Jon Secada ? and still get whupped by Arrested Development?
2. The Gramophone
You can keep your androgynous swordsman, your Christmas-tree-ornament angel, and your crystal football. We?ll take the cool retro turntable every time. If only we’d been a little quicker, we could have had Peabo Bryson’s.
3. The Latin Grammys
Like the regular Grammys, with Shakira.
4. The Synthesizer Medley
We liked Elton and Eminem, and we?re looking forward to the Police, but for pure live Grammy awesomeness, nothing can touch this multi-national, multi-hairstyle, machine-man mashup from 1985. Thomas Dolby?accepted!
5. Because Hating The Grammys Is Way Too Easy
Seriously, what did James Blunt ever do to you? Okay, bad question.
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