Transcript Of Paris Hilton On SNL

I take back what I wrote earlier. SNL wasn’t that bad this weekend. It had its moments (e.g., Poehler as Michael Jackson on a rollercoaster; Fallon as NBC Prez Jeff Zucker; a visiting Tracy Morgan as the old-school purple track-suit wearing Al Sharpton).

Of course, Paris Hilton stole the show with a double-entendre laden Q&A w/ Fallon during Update

Paris: It’s nice to be here.
Jimmy: We agreed that we won’t be discussing the scandal that’s been in the paper the last couple of weeks. All right?
Paris: Thank you Jimmy. I appreciate that.
Jimmy: We just wanted to find out about you, Paris Hilton. Okay. So … your family — I don’t know if a lot of people know — the Hiltons own hotels all over the world, right?
Paris: Yes, they’re in New York, London, Paris.
Jimmy: Wait. So there actually is a Paris Hilton?
Paris: Yes there is.
[audience laughter]
Jimmy: Is it hard to get into the Paris Hilton?
[more laughing]
Paris: Actually, it’s a very exclusive hotel. No matter what you’ve heard.
Jimmy: I hear the Paris Hilton is very beautiful.
Paris: I’m glad that you’ve heard that.
Jimmy: Do they allow double occupancy at the Paris Hilton?
Paris: No.
Jimmy: Is the Paris Hilton roomy?
Paris: It might be for you, but most people find it very comfortable.
[audience laughter]
Jimmy: I’m a VIP. I may need to go through the back entrance.
Paris: It doesn’t matter who you are. It’s not gonna happen.
Jimmy: Fair enough. Okay … I throw a lot of events. Do they have a ballroom there?
Paris: We do.
Jimmy: Great! I’d love to have my balls held by the Paris Hilton. Sounds awesome. I’d actually like to check into the Paris Hilton.
Paris: I don’t think you can.
Jimmy: Really? Because really I’ll only be able to stay there like a minute and a half. Two minutes top.
Paris: Good luck.
Jimmy: Thank you. Paris Hilton everybody!

Choire tells me there’s video here.

Do you think they hooked up at the after party?

Tags: Paris Hilton