Hip-Hoppers Hate Suicide

Yes, even more than “melody” (lol, you). Fox News’ John Gibson says:

Gibson went on to say that he “knew this was not a classic hip-hop shooting” once he learned Coon killed himself. Gibson continued: “Hip-hoppers do not kill themselves. They walk away. Now, I didn’t need to hear the kid was white with blond hair. Once he’d shot himself in the head, no hip-hopper.” Gibson later stated, “I know the shooter was white. I knew it as soon as he shot himself. Hip-hoppers don’t do that. They shoot and move on to shoot again.”

Ok, Fox News wobble-neck says something prejudicial and stupid — that’s not news. But something about the idea of a “classic hip-hop shooting” is inherently comical. Maybe because Top Shelf 8/8/88 became some of the news fit to print a couple weeks ago, it seems like you can’t put the word “classic” next to “hip-hop” without it automatically reading as “classic hip-hop”, joining “classic rock” as one word that just happens to be printed as two. Sure, John Gibson meant to say this was not a typical shooting in the fashion of those hip-hoppers, but it automatically reads as “this was not a shooting involving Schooly D”.

What happens in a classical hip-hop shooting? Does it have to have a message, or is it more light-hearted and fun than newer, more recent shootings? Are there Puba Snacks? Anyone know?