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It is like Kanye West is one 18 wheeler racing down the highway at breakneck speeds and Creed is another 18 wheeler speeding down the opposite direction of the same highway and soon we won't even have to worry about these things anymore because the two will collide and the angels will come down to earth and take me away (but not my pets, but that is all right since I have left them in very reliable hands) and oh geez. Oh geez. Oh geez....
I used to have a recurring nightmare that all my friends and loved ones would be eaten by jellyfish. Jellyfish. I was not the smartest child.
The GIF's from olds posts are still working I think? So there has to be some sort of way to get them to work in this format... I'm no computer whiz though.
Directed by Steven Spielburger. All right. I've burnt out. More.
The Lovely Pones. Starring Kevin Bacon. And OJ Simpson. And Susan Omelette.
But when will we take the time to think of the Ashton Kutcher's Arms of the world? When? Hopefully not until it's too late.
Also, I just noticed the "related post" thing and it is rad. All my Freddy Krueger needs on one page? Am I dreaming?! OR AM I IN MY NEW NIGHTMARE!?
Mittens. We need to knit Freddy Krueger mittens.
If the movie is going to be set in present time, wouldn't it have to be set in a reality in which the previous Nightmare on Elm Street movies don't exist? And wouldn't that one thing lead to all sorts of minor repercussions leading to grander repercussions and potentially a totally altered social landscape? And what I am asking is if Ashton Kutcher will wake up with his arms missing.
It really is pretty great. Also what's up with Topher Grace and Teen Korner having their own quick links on the side makes me so happy. 'Sup Pogs?
Five seconds after I read this a car outside starting play "Echo" very loudly. Excuse me while I make a tinfoil hat and huddle in the shower.
This just broke my heart.
Yes.
on 
Which is weird, because he always appears after I drive a truck off a cliff.
They drive a truck off a cliff? Then have sex? Then Tom Waits? I am trying to piece this scene together in my mind. It is not working.
Matthew Razak is quite the pun-dit.
What if a Dummy was constructed that could puts its hands up the ventriloquist in question's butt?
We need a new dance called "The Flight Attendant" is what I am saying. Every R. Kelly song ever would be hilarious and worthy of jail time.
Wait. She is a flight attendant. And I'm pretty sure she mimes out half the song like she is explaining how to use the drop down air supply system. This is beautiful.
The Walker Texas Ranger Robinson Goldberg Contraption.
The masturbating man in a bear costume
Jay Leno hates the puppy cam.
Did anyone else see an ad for a psychic spa? I had the volume off but... I need to know more, nay, everything.
I am sure "My Sister is Marrying a Douchebag" will be a classic.
Nom Chompsky is a fierce advocate for the de-privatization of food-stuffs, nom-noms, yum-yums, and tasties. Unfortunately, this is his only platform. His books, including "American Power and the New Mandarin Food" (which laid out his opposition to the war against Vietnamese food) have not sold well to date. He has however, garnered a cult following.
50 cent is actually the voice of every single person on every single twilight message board. Mystery. Solved.
The more I learn about this movie the more it feels like... Remember how everyone was saying the Titanic couldn't sink? How it was a revolution in boat making? How boats would never be the same? How it would totally blow your mind? Then it sank? And hundreds of people died? Then James Cameron made a movie about it? What I'm saying is that James Cameron has not learned his lesson and that this movie is probably not sea worthy and will kill hundreds of people. Hundreds.