I'm sure one of the puppets is wearing a shirt with an upside-down "WOW" on it.
BTW, "Admittedly I know very few women" is just plain good comedy writing.
Ah, shoot. I didn't read your comment before posting The Big Shoe Dance. Yours is better! I can admit when I'm wrong.
"Bullshit!"
- Everyone who knows me in real life.
A whole mess of asteroid are rushing toward the earth. Scientists invent a spaceship to shoot them out of the sky, but they can't launch it, because they can't transport it across the four lane highway to the launch pad! There's too much traffic, coming from both directions! Finally, they enlist the help of a super-intelligent frog to get them across the road. But, just as they get there, they see that the launchpad has been bricked over! They notice that if they can find a pattern of missing bricks, and fill it in, the weight of the new bricks causes that whole section to collapse. So,they scramble to fit patterns of bricks into the existing wall, getting it to collapse. They're stuck on the last row, frantically throwing bricks to and fro when finally - FINALLY - they get a straight four-brick pattern, slot it into place and collapse the last row. They roll the spaceship onto the pad, and are just about to launch. "10... 9.... 8.... 7.... 6.... 5.... 4.... 3.... 2..." when there's a horrendous screech from the sky! They all look up, and there's a giant dragon, hovering, then zooming quickly back and forth, blocking the sky. There's no way to shoot him down, so one of the scientists dresses up like a knight with a lance, then hops on the back of a flying ostrich, and stabs the dragon in the mouth. Just in time! Whew! The scientists go to a bar to relax, but the bartender keeps sliding beers at them, and they have to run back and forth to grab them before the beers crash to the ground. That's a terrible bar. Anyway, they successfully send up the ship and destroy the asteroids. Just as they getting ready to go home and get some sleep, they see a snake on the stairs, heading toward them, and they realize, to their horror, that they can't walk any more, but can only jump! And only diagonally! Cut to credits.
Well, let's remember the old saying, "It's not how often you fall down on the moon, it's how often you pick yourself back up on the moon then go home and screw movie stars because you're a goddamn astronaut, man, a goddamn astronaut."
Oh, and "artificial, but necessary" just so you know where I stand. I have an 18 year old daughter, for christ rash's sake. I really think some girls are mature at 17 (not MY baby girl, mind you, but maybe, say, this Fanning gal) and others aren't. Maybe she should be able to decide that this is appropriate behavior for her (again, Fanning, NOT my girl, who is sweet and innocent and probably asked us for birth control because she likes the clever packaging.) But the law can't be written like that, and we need laws to protect those that aren't mature enough to protect themselves. So, 18 is arbitrary, but necessary, since we can't make decisions on a case-by-case basis, and since we feel the need to protect children from sexuality.
The whole "18 is legal" thing is so artificial. I regularly have this conversation with people.
Person: "Whoa! Check out that hot young girl!"
Me: "Wow! Tell me, please, that she's at least 18 and a day."
Person: "What?"
Me: "Well, 18, so she's legal."
Person: "And the 'and a day' part?"
Me: "Well, I don't want to jerk off to her on her birthday. That's her special day."
I'm disappointed that a magazine called Candy isn't actually about candy! Here's some articles I'd like to see:
Peanut M&M's vs. Almond M&M's... We Compare!
2012: The Year of the Skittle?
What's Hot and What's Not in Taffy
Reese, Dot, Rancher and Other Great Baby Names for the Candy Lover
Teeth, The Overrated Mouthpart
Six, if you count crawling and sliding, but not kneeling, would add about four.
Also, I had the sound off, so I had to do the narration myself, "In a world where everything is kind of blue-green, and even pre-teen vampires are pretty good looking..."
I'm a little older than you guys. Can you fake interview Lyle Waggoner to tell me where Lynda Carter is?
Ha ha! Actually, I know where she is, and I've been there. And once I saw her walk to her trash can, and lift the lid and throw something away, then walk back in her house and now I own a framed Three Musketeers Wrapper that I can't explain to my wife.
Actually, it's a little mean. I'm not a mean person. I took a cheap shot for the laugh. Sorry, Sarah Jessica Parker! I apologize. Stomp twice if you understand.
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