Coachella Diet

In an effort to look like they’re not trying at all by trying too hard, Coachella attendees and fitness trainers Kirsten Potenza and Cristina Peerenboom (who created Pound, a workout regimen where you use drumsticks instead of weights) have come up with “Cut By Coachella,” a 30-day diet that aims to make sure that you have a great Coachella bod. Festival fashion (and the crop tops that come from it) has become massive in the past few years since everyone’s backyard seems to have a festival nowadays and trend pieces have highlighted the good and the bad. An article from lifestyle blog Well+Good sheds some light on the effort to cut calories for the grandfather of modern festivals. One 22-year-old who is going to the festival for the seventh time said, “There’s more competition style-wise now. The number of Coachella virgins increases every year, and, if anything, they’re really into the image aspect.”

With the festival just a week away, festival dieters are in crunch mode. “I don’t change my diet as much as I exercise more before it,” one of the creators of the diet said. “I’ll do more yoga, SoulCycle, and Physique 57 classes. I step up on the late nights of dancing to get in the practice, too.” There’s even a Twitter for the diet with some questionable tweets including “So, if you’re a fat chick & you go to Coachella, what’s the point?” and “Anyone know how many calories are in this Molly?” The whole idea of crash dieting for just a weekend (or two) is icky — there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good when you’re going to be seen by thousands of people, but just throw on a floral headband and some high-waisted shorts and don’t make a big deal out of it. With the festival industrial complex only growing, these kinds of diets could become commonplace.

Comments (11)
  1. Something isn’t a “thing” because a couple people say it is to market a couple of pointless blog posts out of it.

    • First time I’m reading about it…

      The real story should be about how absurd some of the festival and campground amenities have gotten this year. Yoga and pilates classes in the a.m., a four course dinner served in a fancy candlelit table setting in the evening that runs you $250 and a list of Oprha-approved gourmet food options inside the festival.

      As for crash exercises and dieters, they give me one more reason to dread going to this thing. I’m the complete opposite: The #1 thing I get pissed about when having to go to Coachella is how I’ll be missing some of my workout days due to travel alongside not getting enough calories and the right type of nutrients each day while on vacation. I’m pissed just thinking about it. God, I wish I didn’t have to go…

  2. You’re a year too late. These tweets are from 2013.

  3. I’ve been on the Burning Man diet for about a year and I got to say, ya know, I’ll tell you, we went to…hm, STOP LOOKING AT ME, it’s great.

  4. Um, my Coachella diet is EAT ALL THE THINGS. How can you not? The food lineup this year is just as epic as the performers’.

  5. Well, thankfully I’m not going to Coachella, so I’ll just continue surviving off of pizza at work and Rainiers.

  6. I checked out that twitter feed… disgusting. I’m kinda wondering if it’s supposed to be a joke, though. Seems like if these people are actually trying to sell some diet plan that most the things they say on there are gonna be bad for business and off putting to the majority of people. Can anyone confirm that the twitter is actually run by Potenza and Peerenboom?

  7. Since this is ridiculous nonsense no matter its intended context, how about you mention that Weekend One is streaming on YouTube again and Weekend Two will have twenty hours streamed on AXS TV for the first time this year, instead.

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