This Is Your Sandwich: Renaissance Faire Foot Sandwich

Oh look, your boyfriend, who you date and make love to by candlelight and LARP with every weekend upstate, made you a bologna sandwich:

“I’m sorry, dear, but I’ve held my tongue long enough. I hate your sandwich. I just hate your sandwich so much. Why can’t you eat a normal sandwich like Laura Watkins?” — Your Mom

“MOM! Can’t you just let me live my life?! You and dad got divorced when I was THREE after you found him sleeping with his paralegal, which was probably your fault anyway, since you practically pushed him into her arms/mouth, and you’re going to complain about what I have for LUNCH?” — You, Mouth Full Of Foot Sandwich

“Shut up, both of you. I can barely hear myself barf!” — Me

(Via Urlesque.)