These Colors Don’t Think

You know, all of us over-privileged white kids with our college degrees and our appreciation for Kombucha and our charmingly cynical cocktail party take on the world have squeezed a solid six and a half years out of making jokes like “this is why Al Qaeda hates us,” and “what’s taking them so long, look at how stupid our country is, why don’t they bomb us already?” But I don’t think that’s fair. As a nation, we definitely have our flaws, but I think that the overall spirit of the majority of Americans is one of decency and goodwill towards others.

That’s why I say please don’t bomb us, Al Qaeda. Just bomb this guy.

Bomb the shit out of that guy. Anthrax his face. That guy. He’s probably going to be President one day because he’s the candidate people would most like to shoot fireworks up their own ass with.