Walmart Hiring DJ In Response To Employee Complaints About Too Much Celine Dion And Justin Bieber

Walmart Hiring DJ In Response To Employee Complaints About Too Much Celine Dion And Justin Bieber

If you’ve ever wandered through a Walmart and thought, “Wow, they’re really kicking out the jams today,” you have either never actually been to a Walmart or have some sort of unchecked brain trauma that you should immediately get examined. They tend to play a lot of Céline Dion and Justin Bieber — entirely too much Céline Dion and Justin Bieber, according to Walmart employees. The retail giant has caught a lot of flak over the years for their treatment of their employees, but I guess some lines can’t be crossed, even by amoral corporate overlords. On Wednesday, thousands of Walmart workers convened for the company’s annual shareholders meeting, and executives detailed a number of policy changes intended to boost employee morale (read: make working at Walmart less of a living hell). According to the Washington Post:

The one that seemed to draw the most whoops from the crowd was a pledge to ditch a CD that has apparently been on loop in the stores for months and begun to drive employees crazy. The CD was a punch line multiple times in executives’ presentation to workers, including when a puppet character named Willie joked that being a Walmart store worker was getting dangerous. When Mike Moore, executive vice president of supercenters, asked why, Willie replied, “One of my fellow associates recently developed a serious eye-tic from hearing Céline Dion’s greatest hits on loop in our stores.” Justin Bieber was also name-checked as one of the singers featured on the notorious CD.

First of all … what? Okay, apparently the Walmart shareholders meeting includes puppet characters and is way more insane than I had imagined. But, more importantly, the end result is that the infamous CD is being scrapped, and “Walmart stores and distribution centers will soon have a new soundtrack that they’re calling Walmart Radio, in which a DJ will spin tunes to be pumped through the stores.”

So now, every time you go to Walmart, you can think of it like going to watch a DJ set. And every time that you hear terrible music being played, it will be an actual human being’s fault.

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