Moby Says He Once Rubbed His Dick On Donald Trump

Moby and Donald Trump have quite a history together. Moby has claimed that he turned down an offer to play one of Trump’s inaugural balls. He also once said that he had knowledge of a secret Republican plan to remove Trump from office. In 2017, he tweeted that Trump should “just resign, OK?” rather than be impeached, adding that Trump had committed “TREASON.” And now Moby is also saying that he once rubbed his dick on Trump at a New York party.

Moby is about to follow his 2016 memoir Porcelain with a new one called Then It Fell Apart. The UK newspaper The Times published an excerpt yesterday. The bit in the book is mostly about how Moby spent the post-9/11 days drunk and high, and as the Daily Beast points out, it includes this a bit about an escapade that took place at “a generic product launch party”:

I was dared to brush my drunken, flaccid penis up against Donald Trump’s suit jacket. Although, in the spirit of alcoholic disclosure, my caveat is this: as I was very drunk and high at the time I’m still not 100% sure it actually happened. But even though this happened almost 20 years ago, I’m still perpetually stunned by the fact that Americans elected as president a dimwitted con man whose only claim to fame is that he once hosted a mediocre reality-TV show.

The party, Moby writes, was in 2001, years before Trump became president or even started hosting The Apprentice. He says that a friend named Lee had dared him to “knob-touch” Trump:

“Moby, go knob-touch Donald Trump,” Lee said.

“Really?” I asked. “Should I?”

Donald Trump was a mid-level real-estate developer and tabloid-newspaper staple whose career had recently been resuscitated by a reality-TV show. [Stereogum editorial note: The Apprentice started in 2004.]

“Yeah,” Dale said.

“Yeah,” Clarice said, mischievously.

“Shit,” I said, realizing I now had to knob-touch Donald Trump.

I drank a shot of vodka to brace myself, pulled my flaccid penis out of my pants, and casually walked past Trump, trying to brush the edge of his jacket with my penis. Luckily he didn’t seem to notice or even twitch.

I walked back to my friends and ordered another drink. “Did you do it?” Clarice asked.

“I think so. I think I knob-touched Donald Trump.”

A thought: It’s terrible to sexually assault anyone. It’s also terrible to brag about sexually assaulting anyone, even a person who has also bragged about sexually assaulting people.