At parties I often have to withstand friends saying things along the lines of “Oh, Kasabian, yeah, their tunes are decent but I get put off ‘cos they act like a bunch of cunts”, whereas for me the opposite has always been true. As people I actually find their po-faced personalities endearingly hilarious. The bit about being put off the music, however, remains true, and I honestly wish that song titles such as ‘The Doberman’, ‘British Legion’, ‘Seek And Destroy’, not forgetting the abominable title track, were ironic swipes on the state of ‘Great’ Britain. But, of course, they’re not. Indeed if this fallen empire were to rise again, it’d be a sorry state of affairs if this lot were drafted in to soundtrack it, for we would most likely be sitting in pubs called ‘The Bulldog and Baton’, supping piss weak Carlsberg, listening to a jukebox that’s stuck on Be Here Now while Burberry and Wallaby clad minions riding on the garlic sauce splashed coattails of 90’s lad culture put down their back issues of Loaded before barricading the doors with their blood-stained pool cues for a lock-in.
So how to explain Empire’s #1 spot on the UK charts? We have no idea. But one can assume Kasabian will only get more obnoxious…
KASABIAN VS. ROLLING STONES
This is especially strange, ’cause we thought Tom Meighan and Mick and Keef had kissed and made up. The Kasabian frontman has apparenty changed his tune: “All I remember is Mick coming up and saying, ‘I heard you had a storm, you %$#@er.’ And Keith said hello. But it was weird because they are granddads. They should be drinking cups of tea in their armchairs.” [SOURCE]
C’mon Tom, pick on someone your own size?
KASABIAN VS. JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE
“[Justin is] a midget with whiskers who is just trying to be black. He’s a puppet in a million-dollar suit who’s had his strings cut off. It’s just money music. Absolute rubbish. You can smell the money coming off it. He’s a knobhead.” Anything to add bassist Chris Edwards? “Sexyback? More like hairy back. It’s the worst title of any record I’ve ever heard!” [SOURCE]
Brilliant, Chris. What else ya got?
KASABIAN VS. KEANE
“Tom [Chaplin, Kean’s singer currently in rehab] has got no backbone. The Priory is for wimps. Some people like talking about themselves too much. It’s sad that Keane felt they had to shout from the rooftops that he’s gone in there.” [SOURCE]
This is fun! What do you think of Radiohead, Tom?
KASABIAN VS. RADIOHEAD
?Look at our single ?Empire?. We?re possibly the only band apart from Radiohead that changes tempo with a new single we?ve put out and no band dares do it, you know. We?re like a futuristic Led Zeppelin man with strings on, and electronic on it. … We gave Radiohead a good run [at the V Festival]. I mean, you?re talking about a band that?s been around for about ten or twelve years, they?re massive and we just put our next single out. That?s all we?ve done and it was incredible. The response was wonderful. It was almost as if we were headlining the whole festival.” [SOURCE]
Wow, they’re sort of like Oasis circa ’95. But without the good songs.