Comments

Give It To You is the sound of a man who knows who he is. Stay the Same is someone screaming LOOK AT HOW ADULT I AM! LOOK! LOOK! I'M NOT THE GUY IN THE IRISH POWER GRAFITTI JACKET ANYMORE. LOOK AT MY TASTEFUL ENSEMBLE THAT I BOUGHT AT BANANA REPUBLIC,

And c'mon Richard, Nobody was asking you to give a note to Joey.

The cover photo is incredible.

Stay The Same is proto Josh Groban. He was three years too early! It's a bad song, but the way he sings "OH!" like Andrew Dice Clay right before the choir kicks in amuses me.

Rad. Thanks!

Like I said, I have a type.

Step 2: THERE'S SO MUCH WE CAN DOOOOOOOOO!

Don't Tell a Soul is my favorite 'Mats album after Let It Be. I said it. The original mix on Dead Man's Pop completely vindicated me.

Nailed it.

I love the generic newspaper in the beginning of the video: New Edition: Are They Finished?

This is a hard one. I like Lost In Your Eyes I like the melody, the lyrics, and Debbie's performance. It's moony and vague, but it works. It's exactly the kind of thing I would have written at 17. I can see Debbie pitching this to Leslie Gore in the Brill Building in 1965. If Debbie sang the song to me on piano with that kickass hat/bangs combo, I would be crying my eyes out (I have a type). Unfortunately, we're in 1989. There's an insider term in pro wrestling, and I hope I'm using in correctly, lest Jim Cornette drive to Maryland from Kentucky and beat me with his tennis racket: "gaga" You have Cactus Jack and Terry Funk, and at the end Terry wins by hitting Cactus with a barbed wire baseball bat. Solid match. Solid finish. What if we took the same match and added thumbtacks, barbed wire ropes, light tubes, a run-in by Raven, Stevie Richards and The Blue Meanie. Oh, and the ring is studded with C4 explosives. Why do we need all these stipulations if the two wrestlers in the ring can deliver a solid performance? The intro and first verse of Lost In Your Eyes, rad. Piano and voice. Totally with it. Lovely, hooky melody and Debbie sounds hopeful and vulnerable at the same time. Then cavernous drums imported from Faithfully come in, which cover up a nice little piano flourish. Then generic rock guitar imported from the Rocky IV soundtrack. Then the canned orchestra. Then the thing that I can never get past, no matter how many times I hear the song: The "ta-da!" sound from Quicken at 2:22. Because is there anything more romantic than balancing your checkbook? The production is too distracting, and as with Straight Up, gets in the way of a solid song. Lost In Your Eyes without the gaga: a solid 8. The Lost In Your Eyes that made it to #1: 4. Debbie's hat/bangs combo: 11. Cactus Jack vs. Terry Funk in the IWA King of The Death Match Finals: 8. It's still pretty impressive.

Straight Up is a 5.

I agree with Tom. Straight Up has hooks on top of hooks on top of hooks. What Paula lacks in vocal ability she makes up for with personaliteeeeeeeee (as Taime Downe would say) The video is striking 30 years later. And yet I don't like it much. I like pop music. I like dance music. A song doesn't have to have guitars or live instruments to be good, but Forever Your Girl captures what I despise about the late 80s. The air on top of Mount Everest isn't this thin. It sounds processed and canned. I HATE those horn stabs in particular. It sounds like a Casio keyboard from Radio Shack. I will be making this complaint a lot in the next few weeks. Just a warning.

Man, I really disagree with Tom on this one. Groovy Kind of Love is my least favorite Phil Collins song of his imperial phase, and this turns it around. I didn't know Lamont Dozier cowrote it, but man that makes sense and puts it leagues ahead of typical late-80s Boomer Plastic Soul Pastiche. Hell of a chorus, hell of a beat, and I'n a sucker for "Let's recreate American Bandstand/Ed Sullivan/Top of The Pops" videos. Nifty picture sleeve too. It's a 7 for me, but I'd go as high as 8 on a good day.

Plus she was in a really bad place when she made that cover. It sounds like (as with so many things) she was pushed to do it.

It was part of a medley, but I can't remember what the other songs were. Material Girl maybe?

I'll Meet You Halfway is gorgeous.

Yikes, forgot about that one. That's a 1. Though her cover of The Beat Goes On from her first record is decent, I'd give it a 7. She did a passable cover of Black Cat when I saw her in 1999

I have no use for Taylor Dayne's #1, but Tell It To My Heart and Don't Rush Me are JAMS.

I had my score. I was going to give My Perogative an 8, Not because it's not a great song, but because it's the only Bobby Brown song I still regularly hear in the world and thought it was overplayed. It's one of those songs that's just in the air now, so I took it for granted. I like Don't Be Cruel and Every Little Step better. Then I read Tom's column and got a whole bunch of context and history that I never thought about before, and that is why this column is amazing. Listened to it with fresh ears for the first time in ages. My Perrogative is a 10. That "GET BUSY!" is incredible. The bridge, incredible. But Roni a 7?! DUDE, Roni is AT LEAST A 9. MINIMUM! Don't Be Cruel and Every Little Step are both 10s. I love that he called himself "King of Stage." It's a charmingly retro nickname for such a forward-thinking record. Like in addition to being an innovator of New Jack Swing, he also hosts a show on the Mutual Network The Chase & Sanborn Bobby Brown King of Stage Hour with this week's guests Wheeler & Woolsey, Alice Faye, Lena Horne, Eddie "Rochester" Anderson and a droll commentary by Robert Benchley! I love Britney Spears, but totally agree with Tom. Her cover is a 3.

I love that song. It's so much better than Beth.

90 percent of the press Sam's Town album cycle was about how Brandon Flowers had just discovered Bruce, oh my god!

Dear god....

The chorus of Heaven is so solid you can build a house on it

And can still hit.

It was a harrowing moment when I looked at the liner notes of Hot In The Shade.

Eric Carr's drumming is so good on that song, especially on the bridge before the solo. I wish I could have seen that tour. They played the perfect mix of 70s classics and their best 80s material. The Sphinx set was really cool too. It had lasers. I'm a sucker for lasers.

I hate that the 1979 remake is the one people remember. The original with Wallace Beery and Jackie Cooper is superior in every way.

I can't imagine Kurt watching Silver Spoons, but I am willing to bet a large sum of money that he saw The Champ (with Jon Voight!) in the theater.

sigh. My feelings exactly.

88 is a strong contender for my favorite hip-hop year Long Live The Kane It Takes a Nation of Millions By Any Means Necessary He's The DJ I'm The Rapper Straight Outta Compton Strictly Business Eazy-Duz-It (Which The Judge bought for me, which I find endlessly amusing) Power 2 Hype Let's Get It Started Move Somethin' The Great Adventures of Slick Rick Lyte As A Rock So rich.

I am not a prog guy, but it's so well-constructed, so well produced in an era of awful production, maybe the greatest vocal performance in the history of the genre. Geoff Tate is an actor. It's undeniable.

That opening riff. DeGarmo. What a monster.

How many times have I pretended to be Joe Elliot while listening to that song? Literally every time I've listened to it. I WANNA TOUCH YOU!!!!!!!! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! If you put out Photograph tomorrow it would be a hit

You can flip a coin between Don't Be Cruel and Heart Break for me. Both are so strong, If it Isn't Love is such an undeniable jam. it's so good that I only have to read the title and I can hear it in my head.

Every time I watch the live footage at the end of the video for 18 and Life I get a little sad. They had it ALL. The songs, the look. The songs. If only they could have held it together, they would have weathered the storm, and they would still be an enormous metal band. Sebastian Bach was untouchable in 1989.

So many bands have a "*sigh* here he comes* look when they see him approach. Humblebrag, I never got that look. Even notoriously prickly dudes like Don Dokken and Stephen Pearcy were totally cool around me. Don't be a dick and ask good questions and boom, you're in the club. Also, Eddie Trunk doesn't know that Miles Davis was a trumpet player.

Damn it, accidental downvote, but it would totally be like the South Park episode where Kenny gets a PSP

Breaking the Silence?! COME ON!

I third it!