Randy Newman Wrote A Song About Donald Trump’s Dick

Next month, the legendary songwriter Randy Newman will release his new album Dark Matter. We posted the new single “Sonny Boy” yesterday, but the song that’s drawn the most attention is “Putin,” Newman’s satirical ode to the Russian dictator. Newman recently did an interview with Vulture’s David Marchese. Marchese naturally opened by asking if Newman had ever tried writing about Donald Trump. And Newman had a truly great response:

I did write about him. But the language was too vulgar. It felt too easy. The song was “My dick’s bigger than your dick / It ain’t braggin’ if it’s true / My dick’s bigger than your dick / I can prove it too / There it is! There’s my dick / Isn’t that a wonderful sight? / Run to the village, to town, to the countryside / Tell the people what you’ve seen here tonight.”…

The hook was “What a dick!” Duh-duh-duh. “What a dick!” But I just didn’t want to add to the problem of how ugly the conversation we’re all having is, so I didn’t put it out.

While I would very much like to hear this song, I suppose it’s enough just to know that it’s out there in the universe.