Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments

Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments

This edition of Shut Up, Dude is going up early because later today I’ll have Stereogum’s annual 50 Best Comments Of The Year list. But before you dig in to this week’s rankings, here is a rundown of the 31 actual best songs of 2021. If you haven’t found any music to comment on here this year, hopefully one of these will inspire you.

CATTERA – “Hunger Of The Beast”

MC Jin – “Yang For NY”

Elon Musk’s NFT Song

Kenny Beats & Mac DeMarco – “Italian American Freestyle”

Nathan Evans – “Wellerman (220 KID x Billen Ted Remix)

Crazy Frog – “Tricky”

Chet Haze – “White Boy Summer”

James Corden & Ariana Grande – “No Lockdowns Anymore”

William H. Macy – “Whiskey Dell”

Amanda Bynes – “Diamonds”

Macklemore – “Trump’s Over Freestyle”

Kate Hudson – “Music”

Yung Skrrt – “Gamestop AMC Pokemon Fortnite Super Bowl”

Oatly CEO Toni Petersson – “Wow No Cow”

/u/misterYOLOdolo – GME-Themed Cover Of “Immigrant Song”

Josh Groban – “Bean Song”

Tessica Brown, The Gorilla Glue Girl – “MA HAIR”

David Lee Roth – “Giddy-Up”

John Hinckley Jr. – “Can’t We Get Along”

Pete & Bas – “Golf”

“The Power Of Terry”

Tico The Parrot – “Psycho Killer”

Tom MacDonald – “Snowflakes”

Tom Hiddleston – “Very Full”

BAYC9797 (Feat. Reo Cragun & Clear Eyes) – “Delist Your Ape (2DaMoon)”

Bo Burnham – “Bezos I”

“Nothing Else Matters” (Jungle Cruise Version)

The Rock – “Face Off” Rap

The Kiffness – “Numnum Cat”

Jimmy Fallon, Ariana Grande, & Megan Thee Stallion – “It Was A…(Masked Christmas)”

Keith Urban, John Legend, Angelique Kidjo, & Alejandro Sanz – “Imagine”


#10  BixMeister
Score:29 | Dec 24th

Okay it took me two breaks to watch this, long story…

Working retail does a thing on Christmas spirit. Usually it’s been beaten out of me and then something happens on Christmas Eve and it comes back like chartbusters.

You, MT are the Christmas Spirit that ignited my Christmas Spirit this year. You are the Goodie in the Hoodie. Thanks for being a friend.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone.

Posted in: The Number Ones: Michael Bolton’s “When A Man Loves A Woman”
#9  Fishhead
Score:29 | Dec 24th

If it were physically possible, my ears would have thrown up after listening to this piece of aural vomit! This guy has the audacity to think he has the chops to remake this classic (he doesn’t). There’s no raw emotion or desperation in his vocals, while the original is an anguished cry and recognition of romantic loss, Bolton just wales away with no hint of emotional depth. The key change is totally out of place here, it loses all subtlety and grace, it just beats the listener over the head. Definitely in the running for the worst cover song of all time, and right up there for worst number one of all time! 1. Merry Christmas to you all!!

Posted in: The Number Ones: Michael Bolton’s “When A Man Loves A Woman”
#8  experttextpert
Score:30 | Dec 30th

F- for musicals?!?!?????

Damn maybe he is straight.

Posted in: Sufjan Stevens Lists His Favorite And Least Favorite Albums Of 2021
#7  Lee Chesnut
Score:30 | Dec 29th

Peaking at #5 behind Michael Jackson was the joyful dance classic “Finally” by CeCe Peniston. It’s a 10.

Posted in: The Number Ones: Michael Jackson’s “Black Or White”
#6  StarkyLoveMD
Score:30 | Dec 28th

I was going to (gently and in good fun) rib you about how this sounds like one of those generic pull quotes that movie studios use sometimes, but then I clicked on your comment history. Brother, you keep being the positive beacon of light in this cold and dark world that you are. I hope you have a wonderful year!

Posted in: Grimes Teases Weeknd Collab, Says She’ll Change Jobs After New Album
#5  Turd on the Run
Score:30 | Dec 27th

I’m with you on the “rapping over a famous song and calling it new” phenomenon, and agree that Puffy is the worst offender. But I think this track somehow becomes the exception that proves the rule. It helps that PM Dawn didn’t borrow True just to spout generic self aggrandizement as Puffy and his ilk were want to do. They find a totally new context for it and create something original which is hard to pull off, especially with a song as well known as True.

Posted in: The Number Ones: P.M. Dawn’s “Set Adrift On Memory Bliss”
#4  sandro
Score:31 | Dec 30th

Damn…honestly never knew Sufjan was a little bitch about most things.

Posted in: Sufjan Stevens Lists His Favorite And Least Favorite Albums Of 2021
#3  Hootenanny McPhee in E
Score:32 | Dec 27th

I have a soft spot for this song—probably because it represents the commercial peak of the ultra-sampled style (DeLa/Prince Paul/Paul’s Boutique/Public Enemy) that I fell in love with as a teenager.
Plus, True is good. A six seems harsh. Justice for True!

Posted in: The Number Ones: P.M. Dawn’s “Set Adrift On Memory Bliss”
#2  shadowboxer122
Score:44 | Dec 24th

OK, guys, I worked really hard on this. Dusted off the old English degree and everything. My review for today will be quite different than my usual, but this was a happy accident of timing that I could not pass up! I hope you all have as much fun reading as I did writing it.

It was the day before Christmas, and all through the site,

Early bird commenters were up by first light

They were choosing their swift, sharp words with care

In the hopes that Tom’s post would soon be there

Some night shifters were nestled, all snug in their beds

While visions of blond curly hair danced through their heads

And I in my room, with the Spotify app

Listened critically to this ballad of crap

When over on Stereogum there arose such a clatter

I quickly logged in to see what was the matter

Away to TNOCS my fingers flew like a flash

Curious to read how badly this song would get trashed

All the while, those sounds lingered in my head

The howling vocals of Michael Bolton filling me with dread

I thought, how could a cover of a good song go so wrong?

Is it because Bolton comes on much too strong?

Or is it the instrumentation, so awkward and plonky

That would turn any tune, no matter the quality, wonky?

The multiple key changes prove to be no respite

For they make me the listener more desperate

As a cover of old soul, it fails as homage

And only reeks like years-old fromage

But, there was one thing to do, as the situation depended

On second opinions of the strangers I’d befriended

Now, V-Dog! Now, Brigit! Now irish and Bix

Go, blu_cheez! Go, Guy! Go, mt and vails (fan of Styx)

Everyone here who will take up the call

Type away, type away, all!

Will you have similar negative views?

Or will it be a positive rating you choose?

No matter what thoughts we all share

We accept a variety, we really don’t care

We will muddle through this song’s screaming and shouting

The yowling, howling, and caterwauling

Because it is the conversation that truly matters

Even if I denounce this one song on the tops of the rafters

I will freely admit like a sap, this community is the best

Nothing beats a smile and a laugh among those at TNOCS

But, I must declare, before I log off tonight

“When a Man Loves a Woman” is a 1, Michael Bolton is done—oh, what a delight!

Merry Christmas, TNOCS! I hope you all have a safe and happy holiday weekend. I’m sure mt’s gift to us (if he posts before I do) will be even more stellar, but I thought I’d scrounge something together to celebrate this awesome community. Call it the Christmas spirit sweeping through me, I guess!

Posted in: The Number Ones: Michael Bolton’s “When A Man Loves A Woman”
#1  mt58
Score:64 | Dec 24th

The calendar says that its December;
I’m back with my usual refrain,

To pause, reflect, include, remember,
As many of you as I can by name.

Commemorate our fun this year,
For this job, I’ll proudly volunteer,

(And probably get sued…)

…but here’s a Christmas present

… for you.

Posted in: The Number Ones: Michael Bolton’s “When A Man Loves A Woman”


#5  bargeld8088!
Score:-9 | Dec 29th

You give Michael Jackson’s “Will You Be There” a 10 out of 10 ? Dude, you have SHIT taste in music.

Posted in: The Number Ones: Michael Jackson’s “Black Or White”
#4  TorrOcie
Score:-10 | Dec 29th

Okay we get it music snob, you don’t like the newer artists out today.

Posted in: The Number Ones: Michael Jackson’s “Black Or White”
#3  sandro
Score:-10 | Dec 28th

Don’t you agree that women isn’t some heavily filtered, heavily shopped and edited version of something resembling somebody Madonna thinks she looked like 30 years ago…because dude….

Posted in: Madonna Calls Out Tory Lanez Over “Illegal Use” Of “Into The Groove”
#2  benlomond
Score:-11 | Dec 24th

Looking back in 20 years or so, we are going to laugh at how idiotic we all acted during this time.

Posted in: The Strokes, Phish, MMJ, And More Cancel & Postpone New Year’s Shows Due To Omicron
#1  black sheep boy
Score:-14 | Dec 30th

That’s OK, you don’t have to make any more.

Posted in: Ezra Koenig Shares An Update On The Next Vampire Weekend Album


  Gary O’Stum
Score:22 | Dec 26th

We’re definitely getting a new album from him this year. And a new Game of Thrones book. And wow, it looks like my dad is gonna come back after leaving for cigarettes 25 years ago. Yippee!

Posted in: Frank Ocean Shared Unreleased Music On Blonded Radio

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