Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best Comments

Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best Comments

Congrats to Grimes on her new baby and congrats to Chelsea Manning on her new Grimes. Unfortunately OpenWeb’s API for determining the highest rated comments is still broken (they are making progress, though, I think) so below are … some comments, possibly the best.


DJ Professor Dan
Score: 24 | Mar 4th

Meanwhile down in The Club… it’s 12 past midnight, which means it’s time to play Crystal Waters latest Number One in the Club “100% Pure Love”

Crystal Waters, as amazing as it may appear, was not a made-up stage name. It was not supposed to be a pun. Oh sure, her parents – showbiz types who might be expected to give their daughter a punny name just for the lols – may have chosen that name on purpose, but she was indeed a Waters (a close relation to Ethel Waters as it happens – who? if you don’t know, just ask LinkCrawford)… more incredibly “100% Pure Love” wasn’t written in order to capitalize on her name; the waters of a crystal stream being of course 100% pure.

Facebook recently reminded me that ten years ago – during the giddy heights of the Occupy Movement – I made the following joke: “1% of 90s house divas have 100% of the pure love #occupycrystalwaters.”

Still relevant.

“100% Pure Love” is a 100%

Posted in: The Number Ones: All-4-One’s “I Swear”
you beautiful bastard.
Score: 26 | Mar 10th

Elon Musk actually telling another human being that he thinks they’re a simulation for his enjoyment should be grounds for his immediate removal from any position of authority, short-term involuntary institutionalization, and long-term placement in a conservatorship.

Posted in: Grimes & Elon Musk Secretly Had Another Baby Named Exa Dark Sideræl Musk
Stumpy Kelderman
Score: 27 | Mar 10th

The only name that would truly unite this comments section is if they named the baby Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You Musk.

Posted in: Grimes & Elon Musk Secretly Had Another Baby Named Exa Dark Sideræl Musk
Score: 28 | Mar 7th

Meanwhile, at the perfect albums side of town . . . 
Dummy is released.
Portishead created an album for spy and detective movies that don’t exist, which makes Dummy pure mood, the mood of fog, of bleakness, of the elements chipping away anything man made, but also of finding a little light in the darkest places. Geoff Barrow, Beth Gibbons and Adrian Utley each brought something so unique, it’s no wonder it hasn’t been able to be repeated: Barrow, an obsession with beats and hip hop, Gibbons her amazing voice, sometimes so full of pain, it seems like she is aware of the suffering of her past lives, other times playful, giddy, a seductress that will eat you and spit you out just cuz she can, and Utley with an array of guitar pedals and other odd instruments like a theremin. not content with using samples, they went and created their own, recording jams, then sending them to computers to chop up and distort. 
This may sound like chill out music, something to put while you nibble cheese and give little slurps of wine in the reunion but eventually its weight will end up shushing conversations and all ears will focus on very sad tunes. 
Mysterons (10) opens with its guitar that floats while a sample robotically says “Portishead”, “Sour Times” (10) with its Lalo Schifrin sample is the stuff that makes people finish the last drop of the bottle, “Strangers” has a clunking beat that’s not really made for dancing. “Wandering Star” (10) sounds like it comes from the loneliest place in the universe. “Numb” is oppressive and suffocating, while “Roads” seems like a path thru green meadows before straight to a clif, “Biscuit” slows it’s sample of “”i’ll never fall in love again” by Johnnie Ray to a crawl, making the whole thing sound like a dirge ready to dump a body and “Glory Box” (a 20) is a lament that transforms into a guitar detonation which signals the beginning of forever. 
The album will eventually peak at #2 in the UK, and win the Mercury Prize.

Posted in: The Number Ones: Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories’ “Stay (I Missed You)”
Score: 28 | Mar 5th

I started my new job Monday. The past two years have been extremely difficult to say the least but I’m beyond excited to be re-joining the land of the living and having an income to actually do shit instead of merely (barely) subsisting. First week and right into the annual sales conference. It’s some overwhelming shit but I could not be happier or more fortunate to be joining a company that is perfectly positioned in today’s fucked up media landscape. My boss is great and my new team is full of quality human beings. I’m back baby. Everything is coming up Spud.

Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best Comments
Score: 29 | Mar 7th

I’ve been so excited to talk about today’s song, let me tell you! I feel like I’ve been waiting since around virtual ’90 for it. I think this is another one of my all-time favorite number one singles ever. It was just so unexpected and wouldn’t have come about at all if Ben Stiller hadn’t wanted to use it in Reality Bites. I really love that it got to chart this high. It’s like this perfect bridge between 90s alternative and pop.

I’ve liked what I’ve heard of Lisa Loeb’s music in general. The first time I ever heard one of her songs was her contribution to the Rugrats movie soundtrack, “All Day”. I know she’s put out children’s music albums before, and she’s basically got the kind of voice kids love–just that right level of soft and sweet. But, anyway, discovering a few of her tracks for older audiences later on was a treat. “Do You Sleep” is a personal favorite, just puts you in the mindset of a rocky relationship so well. She’s very concise in her writing.

And that leads me to what’s so great about “Stay”. She describes all these mixed post-breakup feelings in such a way you understand perfectly what she means. And her style of singing is so unpretentious that it’s refreshing compared to certain turgid songs we’ve heard from this era. I’ve listened to this song so many times that I’m pretty sure I have all of her inflections memorized. She’s that earnest in her performance that it makes “Stay” all the more memorable. That’s not even touching on the scaled-down acoustic production either, which does the song wonders.

I’ve seen Reality Bites exactly once and found myself disappointed in it. I didn’t think any of the characters were likeable–as in no redeeming qualities whatsoever–and hated the love triangle. I didn’t want Winona Ryder’s character with either of these guys. ESPECIALLY the Ethan Hawke character who just casually insults her in the name of “being honest” through pretty much the whole movie. In other words, I don’t think the movie deserves as great a song as this.

But, you know what? I’m so glad “Stay” exists, I don’t even care if I don’t have warm feelings toward Reality Bites. I’m giving this a 10!!

Posted in: The Number Ones: Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories’ “Stay (I Missed You)”
Score: 31 | Mar 4th

Meanwhile, at the punk (?) side of town . . . 
Weezer released their debut.
Known as the Blue Album, there are 9 explosive poprockwhatever pieces of guitar and one very long rockepicwhatever as final track. Rivers Cuomo didn’t really come from punk, he was brought up on a diet of metal and the first record that left him mouth open was a KISS one, and you can really listen to those influences in all the guitar solos that populate the songs (Say It Ain’t So’s one is kicks so much ass and is one of my favorites of all time). Produced by Rock Ocasek, he made the guitars and sound more brighter, giving everything a joyful shine even when the words are about teenage doubt, anxiety, alcoholic fathers and playing Dungeons and Dragons in your garage. The singles (“Buddy Holly”, -the video is a 20- “Say it Ain’t So”, “Undone-The Sweater Song” are all 10s, but so are opener “My Name is Jonas”, and epic closering, bass driven, speaker blower “Only in Dreams”. It has sold over 15 million copies worldwide, and is considered a 90’s classic.

Posted in: The Number Ones: All-4-One’s “I Swear”
Score: 33 | Mar 10th

Are we sure it’s a different baby and not just an OS update on the last one?

Posted in: Grimes & Elon Musk Secretly Had Another Baby Named Exa Dark Sideræl Musk
Score: 38 | Mar 9th

I forget what song Tom said it about, I forget the exact quote, and I may forget the entire gist of his statement, but as I remember it, Tom only gives a 10/10 to songs that come on and change his entire chemistry.  Again, I can be wrong, and “I’ll Make Love to You” isn’t a song that changes my chemistry, but while it reigned at Number One, someone came into my life and changed my chemistry. On Monday I mentioned that I met a man during the Number One run of “Stay” and that we flirted, and things felt good.  This isn’t about him. Instead I set out from Bismarck ND late at night on my way to meet some people in Duluth for a late August camping trip. Long story short, I had to pick up my tent-mate was a guy nicknamed Rugsy who had a dog named Bobo. The long story would do a deep dive into an hour drive in a wet car (my windows were rolled down during a sudden downpour) with a guy who earned his nickname from amorous rugburns, and the dog Bobo who was cured of eating off the table by Rugsy electrifying the table with aluminum foil and batteries. The plan after my camping weekend was a drive to the Twin Cities, stay with my mom, then see a friend, and go to the State Fair. But for some reason, kismet I suppose, I decided to stay around Duluth. On Monday I stopped by at the now defunct Northland Gay Men’s Center and met up with the Honey Bunnies. I don’t know if it was planned, but they called a guy we all know as GBear and invited him to come down to the office and meet a certain guy from North Dakota. True long story short, 20 minutes later he walked in and changed my chemistry. Adrenaline powered our discussion for the next 2 hours. When office hours for the NGMC ended, GBear convinced the Honey Bunnies to extend the discussion at their house on North America’s longest natural sandbar, Park Point. Doug Honey Bunny spoke eloquently about the power of connection, honesty, and love and why we needed to concentrate on Marriage, for more than legal reasons. At one point he said “And that’s a good thing.” When I responded that he had done a good impression of Martha Stewart, he said. “Martha who?” We spoke so late that I had to beg for shelter for the night from the Honey Bunnies. My changed chemistry meant I sat in GBear’s truck saying a long goodbye, writing his phone number while the tree-shaped freshener etched its scent on my mind. The next day, GBear, the Honey Bunnies and I picked June berries in August, checked out Hawk’s Ridge, and sang show tunes before I said my goodbye. I had his phone number, and the special code, but I also had a friend and mom to visit, a State Fair to make, and a wedding I had to attend on Saturday in Bismarck.   Mom was Mom, and we all know the Minnesota State Fair is the best state fair, especially with a great friend who was encouraging me to leave early, head back to Bismarck via Duluth and meet up with the guy who forever changed my chemistry. On Friday morning I called up GBear, entered my code and then asked if he would like a visitor for a night. I could hear the excitement and changed chemistry in his voice as he told me he was looking in the phone book for every Meister in the Twin Cities area, hoping he’d find my mom’s phone number. Pssst. This really is the long story short version.  Back to the song, even though GBear and I would eventually see Boyz II Men in concert “I’ll Make Love to You” doesn’t fit our origin story. For that listen to either Bill Wither’s “Lovely Day” or Gladys Knight and the Pips “You’re the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me.” My changed chemistry means that if either comes on, I’ll start singing every single word, tunelessly I might add, but GBear will hear the voice of an Angel. So, though I won’t go into the particulars of our Friday night date, the energy and chemistry carried me through the long drive to Bismarck where I changed in time to attend the wedding and reception of a good friend.

Posted in: The Number Ones: Boyz II Men’s “I’ll Make Love To You”
Score: 41 | Mar 7th

In the summer of 1993, I was the one senior member of the upper management team to stay in town to run this 24-hour, 7 day a week radio station. Technically, I was the tech director… but I was also acting GM, acting PD, and probably a few other positions time has made me forget.

So, one day one of the DJs asked for my assistance the following week… as he had someone he wanted to bring in for an interview and to play some music. I don’t think I was particularly excited by the prospect (there were precious few hours I was away from the station)… but, I said I would be there to help.

So, the next week, in walks a young lady wearing a summer dress with funky/colorful tights. She had distinctive eyewear. And, she had a guitar. I quickly set up some mics… and soon enough she was on the radio. She talked about Berklee, she talked about her band in New York, she talked about doing performances in Harvard Square. She also played music. The lyrics seemed profound… and yet, seemed born of real experience. It was a bit elliptical… but, isn’t life itself elliptical when you’ve lived just enough to know you haven’t lived enough. She was also slyly funny. When she ended her interview, she thanked the DJ. She also thanked me while noting to the radio viewer that I was wearing a bright pink tutu. (I was not, but that’s besides the point).

About a year later, I get out of my car and I hear a song. It was familiar… but I couldn’t quite place it right away. And, then I did. And, I exclaimed… That’s Lisa Loeb. Someone I engineered is on the radio. I listened to the entire song… and when it went to some other pop song, I realized that this was something that could be big. Did I expect it to hit #1? I don’t think so. But, heck, top 40 was pretty big for my own self-worth (even though I had absolutely nothing to do with her success… at the time, it felt like I had done something really big).

If I was being objective, Stay is probably a high 8, maybe a low 9. But… this is one of the few times I really can’t be objective. Lisa Loeb and Stay are both 10s.

Posted in: The Number Ones: Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories’ “Stay (I Missed You)”


Mar 9th

Curious what the market value is for an NFT of Radiohead’s Yellow.

Posted in: LimeWire Relaunching As NFT Marketplace

more from News