This past Friday, Lil Nas X released his first new single in nearly two years, “J CHRIST.” Its accompanying music video and the rollout for the track has been heavy on the religious imagery — the cover art features Lil Nas X being pulled up on the cross, the video has him dressed up as the devil and Jesus and places him in a bunch of Biblical scenarios. On Monday, Lil Nas X posted a sincere-seeming video to his social media accounts in which he reflects on some of the backlash he’s predictably received from conservative and religious groups in response.

“I wanted to not necessarily apologize but I wanted to explain where my head’s at and where it’s been for the past week,” he said. “First of all, when I did the artwork I knew there would be some upset people or whatnot, simply because religion is a very sensitive topic for a lot of people. But I also didn’t mean to mock. This wasn’t a ‘fuck you’ to you people, ‘fuck you to the Christians.’ It was not that. It was literally me saying, ‘Oh, I’m back like Jesus,’ that was the whole thing.”

“I’m not the first person to dress up as Jesus — I’m not the first rapper, I’m not the first artist, and I won’t be the last,” he continued. “And I know given my history, with the ‘Call Me By Your Name’ video, anything I do related to religion could be seen as mockery, and that was not the case with this.”

He went on to directly address (and apologize for) a promotional video released last week that features him downing communion wine and wafers. “I will say with the communion video, with me eating the crackers and juice, I thought that video was going to be the video to lighten the mood,” he said. “I thought that was something we all wanted to do as kids, but I didn’t understand the reality of what it is. It’s me eating the communion, which is the symbolism of Jesus’ blood and bones or something like that, I don’t remember completely. I didn’t mean it as a cannibalism thing or whatever the freak… I do apologize for that, I will say I am sorry for that.”

“Though I don’t agree with all of Christianity’s rules or whatnot, I know not everybody follows Christianity by the book 100% or the world would be a lot crazier,” he continued. “But I do apologize for that. This is not to try to get everyone on my good side or whatnot, this is more so to clear my own head about my own decisions. I know I messed up really bad this time, and I can act unbothered all I want but it’s definitely taken a mental toll on me.”

Here’s the full video:

@lilnasx

wanted to get this off my chest

original sound – lil nas x

@lilnasx

J CHRIST OUT NOW – lil nas x