Juliana Hatfield Rants Against The Hills

Some Girl/Blake Baby/Stereogum fave Juliana Hatfield gave Alternative Nation some albums that helped with high school, and has been playing the pay-what-you-want download game long before Radiohead championed it. Last year she released Frank Smith’s album on her own Ye Olde Records, but now she’s busy wrapping up another solo album … and checking in with her old MTV haunting grounds, where reality TV rules. On MySpace, she’s written an inspired diatribe about LC, Heidi, Spencer, and the gang.

You know what would be radical? Subversive? Brave? If LC went a whole day and night of her life without makeup.

Judging by what I see all over the place — countrywide — young women seem to want to look like Heidi Montag. (By the way, I hate the fact that I know Heidi Montag’s name; that I know who she is; that she takes up any space at all in my consciousness. And the fact that I actually enjoy watching The Hills proves that television — and cable tv in particular — has ruined my brain.

The Hills is part of the reason television is ruining our country, she says.

Juliana’s discussion about her own shame and embarrassment over selling herself/wanting to seem cool/needing an audience is sort of fascinating, if not new territory for her. Read the whole thing here. Fans will enjoy her discussion of the minutiae of the song “You Are The Camera,” which she’s streaming for the occasion. As for Lauren and Heidi’s cushy “jobs”…

The companies who hired the girls (Teen Vogue and whatever that p.r. company is called) knew they would be getting tons of precious, lucrative exposure and publicity by being regular presences — characters — on the tv show, and so that is why they hired the Hills girls.

Well, actually, Juliana — Heidi doesn’t work at Bolthouse. That part’s totally fake. Also made up? This scene from Monday’s episode in which Whitney calls a designer to (lie and) say that she and Lauren “discovered” a stain on a dress Lauren stained herself. Listen to the fake audio that’s blatantly been inserted during post-production…

Juliana Hatfield’s new album How To Walk Away, produced by Ivy’s Andy Chase, is out 6/10 on Ye Olde. Guess we shouldn’t expect a low budg beachside video.