If you’re old enough, you may well remember paying actual money for the soundtrack album from the 1990 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, possibly on cassette, possibly at a K-Mart. You may even remember what a jam MC Hammer’s “This Is What We Do” was. (Just speaking hypothetically.) That lost era, when movies would include end-credits rap songs describing the plot of the movie you just watched, is sadly long-gone. But even though it looks like flaming, molten garbage, the new Michael Bay-produced Ninja Turtles movie looks to bring at least some aspect of it back again. The movie’s theme song is called “Shell Shocked,” and it’s a vaguely dubsteppy rap song with Juicy J, Wiz Khalifa, and Ty Dolla $ign rapping vaguely turtle-related boasts (“Bandana on my face like a gangsta,” that sort of thing). It’s something, anyway. Below, listen to it and watch a scene of Whoopi Goldberg and Megan Fox discussing the Turtles, because that’s also something that happens in this movie.
The new Ninja Turtles movie is out 8/8. So, uh, enjoy?