Noel Gallagher Responds To “Slack-Jawed Fuckwit” Matty Healy Demanding An Oasis Reunion

Matt Crockett

Noel Gallagher Responds To “Slack-Jawed Fuckwit” Matty Healy Demanding An Oasis Reunion

Matt Crockett

In the past few weeks, there’s been a lot of noise around the potential of an Oasis reunion, but that shit ain’t happening. Yesterday, Noel Gallagher debunked all those rumors and called his brother Liam “a coward.” In response, Liam resumed his longstanding habit of firing off pissed-off tweets at Noel. A few months ago, the 1975’s Matty Healy, someone who’s constantly in the news, famously said that the Gallagher brothers should “stop marding” and get back together. Now, we know that the marding will never stop. In fact, Noel Gallagher is happy to do some marding with Matty Healy. (Am I using “marding” right? I truly have no idea.)

Noel Gallagher and his High Flying Birds are getting ready to release the new album Council Skies and to tour North America with Garbage. You know what that means: More great Noel Gallagher quotes! In a new SPIN interview, writer Daniel Kohn asks Noel about Mr. Steal Yo Girl’s comments, and Noel apparently missed them. Here’s Noel’s response: “Oh, that fucking slack-jawed fuckwit. What did he say?” Upon learning what Healy said, Noel continues: “He would never be able to imagine [Oasis remaining broken up]. He needs to go over how shit his band is and split up.”

Noel went on to explain why he thinks nobody needs an Oasis reunion and why he’s not planning any commemorative anniversary shows:

If Oasis hadn’t fulfilled its potential, I might have a different attitude towards it. But as Oasis did everything it set out to do and more. I don’t see the point. It was a moment in time and if you missed it, tough shit. I missed the Sex Pistols, and I’ve managed to get over that. So people should get over it.

People have not gotten over it, and someone recently put together a partially AI-generated fake Oasis album under the name AISIS. Asked his opinion on Twitter, Liam Gallagher responded, “Mad as fuck I sound mega.” In the SPIN interview, Noel Gallagher rendered his own verdict on the entire idea of AI Oasis:

Fucking embarrassing. I just think people clearly have too much time and money on their hands if they’re fucking around with that for a laugh. I mean, who wants to fucking hear Ringo Starr singing “She’s Electric” and Freddie Mercury singing “Don’t Look Back in Anger”? Life’s too short for that shit…

AI will be the final nail in the coffin of music. I’m sure that the major record labels are now working on the technology to copyright it and machines will write music. Why hire a songwriter when you can own a machine to do it? Then Harry Styles can pump out Harry Styles music for the rest of his fucking life.

Beautiful. Perfect. Chef’s kiss. You can read the full interview here; it also finds Noel Gallagher big-upping Young Fathers. Council Skies is out 6/2 on Noel’s own Sour Mash Records.

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